


if you don't love me now

by WinTTY



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, Drama, F/F, Fluff, Romance, Weddings, angsty as fuuuuuuuck, based on some movie, filled with cliches look out, it'll be gone real soon hush, lots of guilt and doubt and emotions, some background grahamfield but don't concern yourself with it, sorta i guess idk, spot all the song references, there's only one ship here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-16 20:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14172546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinTTY/pseuds/WinTTY
Summary: On the eve of her wedding, Max Caulfield reconnects with someone she hadn’t seen in years.She soon starts to rediscover long lost feelings, ones that make her question and doubt herself - and perhaps ultimately call everything off.





	1. hello my old friend

Max sighed as she went through the stack of invites on her table. There were so many names, so many people she hasn’t seen in years but found fit to invite to her wedding. A lot of them were Warren’s friends and family too - though she only met a limited number of them before. It was all a big mess, but she had a few days off work so she had to sort it now rather than later.

Taking a sip of her drink, she began filling in another card - humming to herself quietly. Warren was at work, leaving Max home alone. She didn’t expect anyone today as most of her friends were also either working or otherwise indisposed.

Just as she was folding up a finished card, she heard a knock. At first she thought it was the neighbours doing something in the apartment beside theirs, but there was another knock - louder this time. Max turned her head to the front door and listened.

Another knock - followed by a weary sigh, muffled however. She raised her eyebrows.

Max wondered who it could be as she pushed herself up and walked over. She hummed quietly to herself again and unlocked the door. There was a sound of feet shuffling suddenly behind the door. Max pulled it open and-

-her jaw dropped.

“Chloe?”

Chloe, leaning against the doorframe with her forearm, managed a small smile. She was… much different than Max remembered. She wore similar clothes, but had a leather jacket that was far more worn and torn than her previous one - it also had an ungodly amount of patches and badges on it. Her hair was longer, one side buzzed and her ear pierced with all sorts of rings and studs.

Her lips carried her smile further into a smirk as she saw Max quite obviously checking her out. “Hey,” she murmured and looked Max up and down herself.

Max didn’t change. Max was Max - same hairstyle, though pulled into a ponytail, along with some simple jeans and a shirt with some funny graphic on it. As the years went on, her dorkiness didn’t decrease - though perhaps it became more endearing.

“Chloe, what are you… what are you doing here? How did you get my address? What…”

“Victoria,” Chloe replied and took her hand out of her pocket - showing a small piece of paper with Max’s address on it. “Turns out my ex-girlfriend’s girlfriend is friends with the infamous Maxine Caulfield.”

Max was quiet for all but a moment. “Max, never Maxine,” she muttered in annoyance, though it was usual for her to do that now - especially with clients, despite listing her name as Maxine on the business cards. “Uhm. Please, come in…”

It was already awkward. Max and Chloe had parted under… a very unique set of circumstances. It didn’t help that Max immediately ghosted Chloe for 6 years.

“Do you want a drink? Tea, coffee, water…?” Max asked as they walked inside, shutting the door behind Chloe.  
  
“No, I’m just… swinging by. Making sure Victoria gave me the right address,” Chloe muttered, looking around the place. “Nice place,” she commented and glanced to a few framed pictures on nearby shelves.

Max and Warren.

Ouch. That hurt. Chloe winced a bit but didn’t show it.

“Well… you got the right place!” Max said and chuckled quietly, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. Her heart was pounding against her chest already. “Uhm. Here I am. In my apartment. Or rather… mine and, uh… Warren’s.”

Chloe winced again but her back was turned to Max. “Yeah. Yeah, I can see that,” she mumbled.

Her eyes strayed to the table, which she promptly strolled towards. She let out an exhale when she read the first few wedding invites scattered out over the surface. That fucking hurt too.

“Oh, sorry - shit - I got quite a mess,” Max quickly squeaked out as she walked over to the table - shoving all the invites into a pile before starting to sort them into a much neater one. “Uhm. Wedding plans. Woosh,” Max tried joking, wiping at her forehead.  
  
Chloe watched her, her neck craned down a bit as she kept her hands in her pockets. She nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, seems like you’re busy with your life and stuff. I probably shouldn’t have come by, but I just wanted to make sure.”

“Oh no, no - it’s cool. Yeaaah, it’s fine…” Max spoke over her shoulder, unable to face Chloe as she stacked up the cards. Standing up straight once she was done however, she slowly turned towards Chloe.

They stared at one another briefly before Chloe smirked and looked about again.

“So…” she started, slowly walking around the room and looking at everything, “...how are things, Maximo?” she asked, reaching up to take a look at one of the framed pictures of her and Warren - somewhere in Seattle it looked like.

It might’ve been rude to just do that, but Chloe was Chloe and Max was Chloe’s best friend once upon a time. She probably didn’t mind.

Probably.

“They’re good. Yeah. They’re good. You, uh… look good too,” she replied and immediately bit her lip - realising what she said. “I mean-”

“-yeaaah, I know what you mean,” Chloe said and grabbed another picture. “So, Warren got some, huh?”

Max blushed and sputtered quietly, finding that a bit rude really, but realising just how it all looked like to Chloe. “I mean-”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Chloe interrupted again, putting the picture down. “Sorry if I sound like a bit of an asshole, I drove up from Portland and have been up since like 5AM.”

“Oh, thats-”

“Mhm,” Chloe hummed - interrupting yet again. She turned on her heel and rocked up and down before looking at Max. “Hey, so… wedding?” she pointed out, taking out a hand from her pocket to actually point at the stack of cards.

“Huh? Oh, uhm - yeah,” Max said and smiled, shrugging. “Things just… happened between me and Warren and here we are, hm.”

Chloe nodded and rocked herself back and forth again. She shoved her hand back into her pocket.

“Oh, you’re invited! Of course. I’d have invited you if I knew your address or-”

“Don’t,” Chloe said and immediately pulled up a hand to stop Max. She gave it a small wave. “Don’t bullshit me Max,” she spoke.

Max immediately frowned, but then remembered - Chloe was fond of being very crass with her language.

“If you knew my address or phone number then you’d have done the same thing you did for the past 6 years. Nothing,” Chloe continued and stopped rocking herself on her heels. Instead, she focused on Max.

Flapping her mouth uselessly, Max resigned to her fate and sagged her shoulders. What Chloe said was true. If she knew her address, her phone number, then she’d have just ignored her anyway. She felt it was safer that way. No, not safer. It was-

Max’s phone vibrated for a brief moment before starting to ring.

“Hold on,” Max mumbled and grabbed it, glancing over the screen. “Shit - it’s a work call, can you…?”

Chloe nodded and waved her off - shoving her hand back into her pocket. “Yeah dude, whatever.”

Max smiled despite the situation and answered, walking off to one corner of the room. Whilst she listened and spoke, her mind was constantly buzzing with thoughts of Chloe and this… meeting they had. She had never expected to meet Chloe again - or at least not under these circumstances, not in her own home.

As Max did her thing, Chloe took to looking over the rest of the pictures on the walls. She kept silent, hands in her pockets as she simply leaned in and squinted at each framed photo - finding Max smiling in every single one. She looked happy.

Was she happy? She must’ve been happy.

Pausing momentarily, Chloe spotted a different picture. It wasn’t Max and Warren.

It was Max and Chloe - right before their graduation from Blackwell. Rachel was beside them, grinning towards the camera. Chloe frowned and found herself a bit… rattled, almost. Max kept a photo of them around, despite what happened.

“Ugh - hey Chloe?” Max called out as she hung up.

“W’sup,” Chloe mumbled, spinning over towards Max. She tried to cover up the fact she was looking at that one particular photo.

“I know that… you want to talk, but… work calls?” Max muttered, raising her phone and giving it a little shake. “Uhm. Instead, maybe we can go grab a coffee say… tomorrow? Then we can talk everything over?”

Chloe waited, and waited, and waited. Then she smiled and rocked backwards and forwards on her heels again. “Yeah. Yeah, sure - I won’t keep you, coffee sounds good.”

Max smiled back, extending her hand forward. “Just give me your phone, I’ll… give you my number.”

There was an ounce of disbelief in Chloe’s mind. What if Max ghosted her again? Then again - she really couldn’t; Chloe knew where she lived. Boy did that sound creepy - Chloe dispelled that thought immediately.

“Yeah, here-”

“-thanks,” Max mumbled and blushed as their hands brushed together for the brief moment. She tapped away on the screen - adding in her contact details. “Just, uh… give me a text or something tomorrow. I’ll be free all day, this was just an emergency with something.”

“Mhm,” Chloe hummed and grabbed her phone. “Righto. I’ll get out of your hair then.”

Max nodded and followed her out - standing in the doorway. As Chloe left, they exchanged a brief look and stopped.

“Hey-”

“-no, it’s cool Max,” Chloe interrupted. “Save it for tomorrow. I know you have a lot to say probably, so do I. You’ve got work, remember?”

Max blinked a few times. “Yeah. Yeah I do. I’ll… see you tomorrow?”

Chloe produced a finger gun and shot it at Max, blowing away some smoke. “You got it. Tomorrow.”

As Chloe left, Max watched.

“Don’t ghost me like you did for 6 years!” Chloe called out as she made her way down the stairs.

Max frowned and closed the door. She immediately pressed her back against it and harshly exhaled. That was… not what she was expecting at all to happen. Chloe’s sudden appearance nearly shook her to the core - in both a good way and a bad way. They didn’t part amicably.

Or they did.

No, they didn’t.

Max didn’t.

It was complicated, really.

Rubbing her face, Max groaned loudly before pushing herself off the door. She had to get to work - she’d worry about this later.

* * *

 

Chloe slammed the truck door closed behind her. Gripping her steering wheel, she stared ahead blankly - thinking it all over.

“What the fuck,” she mumbled to herself and sighed, dropping back in her seat. She grabbed her phone and quickly looked over the contacts to make sure Max actually added herself.

She did.

Tossing her phone to the side, she reached over into the seat beside her and grabbed her beanie - roughly shoving it over her hair. She quickly looked herself over in the rearview mirror, correcting her hair and beanie before she sighed again.

Seeing Max after all these years wasn’t easy, and it certainly didn’t bury her feelings of abandonment at all. It brought it all back up instead - allowing it to rear its ugly head in her mind, plaguing her thoughts. Chloe was used to it though, so whatever - she just ignored it.

Dropping a hand onto the gear stick, Chloe’s fingers traced over the various hair bands that covered the entire thing - some of them more frayed than others, a multitude of colours.

They were… souvenirs of sorts. Yeah.

She tapped her fingers a few times.

“Fuck it.”

With a grunt, she started the truck and promptly pulled off the curb and onto the road - heading back to her motel room for the day. She needed a drink - hopefully there were bars nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind me just dropping this here
> 
> based on some gay movie i watched once (but altered), there's gonna be more real soon


	2. little lies

Chloe sighed and leaned back in her seat. Her hand strayed down to her lap, picking up her phone again as she checked the time, swiped the screen and then checked her message history with Max. Rolling her eyes, she looked towards Max’s apartment building.

Surprisingly, Max made good on her offer for a date.

Not a date, no. It couldn’t be a date.

All they were doing was having a coffee. Yeah. That's it. Max was engaged - Chloe couldn’t date her, oh no.

It was only seconds later that the door the the building opened and revealed Max - dressed in some of her casual stuff; after all, they were only grabbing a coffee. She made her way down the steps and looked about before spotting Chloe.

This _wasn’t_ a date.

It was a mantra in Chloe’s mind - repeating over and over and over and over-

“Hey!” Max said as she suddenly jumped inside the truck, slamming the door shut behind her. “Sorry I’m a bit late, had to take another phone call.”

Chloe looked towards Max, raising her sunglasses a bit. She looked her over and nodded. “Alright. Sure. It’s whatever dude,” she mumbled and let her shades drop, immediately going for the ignition.

With a low, sickly rumble, the engine came to life. Chloe tapped her fingers on the wheel and pulled off the curb - promptly merging into the small amount of traffic on the street. Her radio played one of her punk tapes - though it was too low to recognise the song in particular.

“Hey, so… I know a small place, just on the outskirts?” Max spoke up, breaking the silence between them. “It’s a nice cafe that I sometimes go to. We can go there?”

Chloe was quiet, staring at the road. “Sure.”

Max went quiet herself afterwards - awaiting another response. When she didn’t get one, she turned away and looked out the window.

When the silence engulfed the cabin again, it became awkward. Like. Real awkward. Max tapped her fingers on her knee whilst Chloe tapped her fingers on the wheel - waiting on the traffic lights. She gave Max a brief glance before gazing at the road again.

“It’s um… that way,” Max said and pointed towards a street coming up.

Chloe hummed in acknowledgement before promptly turning.

Quiet.

Max looked about the truck. It was different from Chloe’s old F150. That was old, stained, rusted - broken. This one looked relatively new. There were no stains, there was no rust - it didn’t look broken.

Though it already had Chloe’s personal touch-ups. There was less graffiti, but there _was_ graffiti. That… stupid Elvis bobblehead still adorned her dash and there were various things hanging over the rearview mirror. Max tried to figure them all out - a pair of dice, a small cross, miniature handcuffs.

Wait. Miniature handcuffs?

Shaking her head slightly, Max kept looking around as Chloe drove.

Looking down to her gear stick, she noticed the hair bands tied around the shaft. Her eyebrow piqued momentarily.

“You tie your hair?” Max asked, looking up at Chloe.

Looking over at her in confusion, Chloe raised an eyebrow. “What?” she mumbled, following Max’s eyes to the gear stick. “Oh, shit! This? Nah, those aren’t mine,” she replied and smirked.  
  
“...they’re not yours?”

“Nah. They belong… _belonged_ to my ex-girlfriends, one night stands,” she spoke, looking over at Max. She grinned when she saw her blushing. “Just a small thing that I keep. Dunno.”

Max looked away, hiding her blush. “Oh.”

Chloe bit her tongue and looked towards Max again. Her fingers drifted down to one of the bands - pulling on it. “This one was Kelsey,” she said with a smirk. “I… think it was a one night stand after we hooked up in a lesbian bar? I think. Memory is all fuzzy, was a few years ago and I was drunk.”

“O-oh, right,” Max replied, giving the hair band a quick look.

Wanting to tease further, Chloe hooked another hair band - a different colour this time, thicker. “This was Gina,” she murmured, grabbing another one right below it. “Bonnie. Weird name, good fuck-”

“-Chloe… please,” Max suddenly interrupted, looking up at her. “I don’t need to know. I get it.”

Chloe took a few seconds as she kept her eyes on her. She hummed and looked back to the road. Seconds later she hooked another band - pulling it up. “This was Jenny? Jennifer? She was alright, we dated a few weeks - in fact I fucked her right there-”

Max looked at Chloe. No. Max _glared_ at Chloe, ignoring the fact she was pointing at where she was sitting. “Chloe. _I get it.”_

“...alright,” Chloe muttered and shrugged, letting go of the band. Her hand promptly drifted back up and rested atop the gear stick. “Just trying to make conversation, jeez.”

“I… don’t want to know about stuff like that,” Max replied and looked away, back out the window.

Again they both went quiet and it was awkward - even worse than before. Chloe concentrated on driving as Max concentrated on looking out the window.

Also thinking. They both did _a lot_ of thinking.

* * *

 

“That’s it, right there,” Max said as she pointed over at the small coffee shop on the corner of the street.

Chloe hummed and looked about, finding a free space literally a few feet away from the shop. She pulled up and promptly switched the engine off, taking off her sunglasses and tossing them… somewhere onto the dash. She’d find them later.  
  
“Aight, let’s go.”

Max watched for just a second as Chloe jumped out of the truck, slamming the door behind herself. She walked around the front and glanced at Max - raising up both her arms in confusion.  
  
“You comin’ or what?” she called out before shoving her hands into her pockets and slowly sauntering over towards the coffee shop.

Max still sat there, fumbling with her hands. She took in a breath and got out of the truck - following Chloe.

“Nice place,” Chloe said as they entered - looking around slowly. “You and hubby go here?”

“Chloe… we’re not married yet.”

Chloe gave Max a look over her shoulder and smirked. “Right. Engaged. Same difference dude.”

Moments later she dropped into a seat at one of the tables - right beside the window - and glanced up at Max, watching as she did same; sitting down opposite. There was a brief moment of silence before Chloe shifted herself and sat properly to face Max.  
  
“So Maximus,” she started and reached over for the menu on the table - flicking through it absently, “tell me a bit about what you’ve been doing. You know, since you ghosted me.”

Max winced and let out a disappointed sigh. She knew that Chloe wouldn’t let her live this down and would keep pushing it at every opportunity she got. “Chloe, I… I didn’t ghost you.”

“News to me,” Chloe retorted and dropped the menu card, leaning back in her seat.

There was another bout of silence - the two of them simply couldn’t hold a conversation, not with what was on both their hearts. Max’s more so than Chloe’s. Probably, anyway.

“Look, how about we… take this one step at a time,” Max suggested, looking up at Chloe. “Let’s just… catch up first. We’ll get the basic stuff out of the way, then… we can talk about… y’know…”

Chloe looked at Max for a few moments, eyes narrowed, before she smiled and shrugged. “Right. Sure. Why not.”

“Okay. Good. Uhm. So… what have you been doing since?” Max began, holding her hands together. She looked off to the side - seeing a waiter moving through and taking orders.

“Social work,” Chloe murmured and ran a hand through her hair. “I work with troubled youth, stuff like that. It’s… hard,” she admitted and glanced to the floor. “But it’s nice.”

Max’s mouth gaped in amazement - literal amazement. She hadn’t ever thought that would be a career path Chloe would take, but looking back at everything she did in her teens… it made sense. It actually made sense. She could use her experience to help others.

“Chloe, that's… amazing. Wowser.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow, her face suddenly holding a horrified look. “Wowser?” she repeated. _“Wowser,_ Max? Holy. Shit.”

With a blush, Max looked away and covered one cheek. “Hey! Look, I… I never grew out of it,” she admitted and gave Chloe a sideways look. “Besides, nobody ever mentions it except for you.”

With a smirk, Chloe leaned back. She took that as a small victory. “Well aren’t you glad I’m back?” she teased.

“Actually, I am,” Max said and turned to face her. “I’m really glad you’re back Chloe. I’m… a jerk for doing what I did-”

“Ah, ah!” Chloe interrupted, holding up a hand. “You said to take this slowly. So I told you - I’m a social worker. You?”

“...a photographer.”

“Colour me surprised,” Chloe mumbled and faked a yawn - checking her nonexistent watch on her wrist. “Anything new?”

Max rolled her eyes and kicked at Chloe’s leg under the table. “Shut up!”

Chloe cackled and and went quiet as a waiter approached. They were quick to order something simple - two coffees and a small bite to eat; after all they weren’t going to be here forever, despite how nice it was.

They talked. They laughed a bit too - catching up on things, mostly what they did since they… separated. But no matter how much they talked or distracted themselves with stupid stories or jokes, the looming cloud still hung above them - the topic, the reason, why they were here in the first place. It was problematic and neither of them wanted to bring it up and ruin what they’ve had so far.

Then they realised their coffee was finished, as was the food they ordered.

“Oh, uh…” Max trailed off, looking down at their empty plates and coffee cups. “Well. We got carried away a bit, I think.”

Chloe scoffed and shrugged. “It was nice though, right?”

Max was about to speak when Chloe’s hand fell upon hers - pressing it down softly. She blushed and gave it a quick glance before pulling it away and under the table, fumbling with her fingers. “Uh, y-yeah! It was nice. You’ve done… so much cool stuff Chloe.”

“...yeah. Yeah, I guess. Hey, look - I’ll pay-”

“-no, no, it’s fine!”

Chloe ignored Max as she retrieved her wallet and put down a few bills - enough for both their order and a healthy tip. “Too late, nerd. Now c’mon - lets get you home before Warren gets all jealous I’m taking his wife out on a date.”

With a sputter, Max looked at Chloe in horror - her cheeks burning. Was that what this was? A date? No, no - it couldn’t be, Chloe wouldn’t do that; she knew she was getting married and-

“Hey, wake up space cadet - let’s go!” Chloe exclaimed as she gently shoved Max in the direction of the door. “Go, go, go.”

She couldn’t help but grin to herself as she lead the way.

* * *

 

 

With some things off both their chests, the ride back to Max’s apartment was… much more tolerable. Chloe didn’t mention the origin of her hairband collection and instead they talked a bit about themselves again - catching up some more. Chloe felt… better.

But they still didn’t address the elephant in the room and they both knew they _had_ to.

“Here ya go,” Chloe mumbled as she pulled the truck to a stop outside Max’s apartment. “Got you back all safe for Waldo.”

“Warren, Chloe.”

“Psh, whatever.”

Going silent again, they kinda just sat there. Chloe was staring ahead, tapping her fingers along to the radio as she waited. Max was fumbling with her hands again, wanting to say anything to lift the silence.

Eventually, Chloe sighed and turned her head to Max. They couldn’t keep avoiding it.

“Why, Max?” she asked simply - stopping her fingers. She turned off the radio too.

Max awkwardly shuffled and looked at her hands, then her feet, then looked up to Chloe. “Chloe…”

“No, don’t… fucking christ, Max!” Chloe suddenly hissed, glaring over at her. Her hand gripped the wheel harder as she took in a few deep breaths. “Why? Why the fuck did you just… run away?”

Wilting in on herself, Max looked down to her hands again.

“I thought we had something,” Chloe said slowly - looking directly at her; her gaze burning into the side of her head. “We planned that roadtrip for… so fucking long. It was great - Portland, Olympia and even fuckin’ further.”

Max kept quiet and allowed Chloe to continue.

“You were having fun, right?” she asked, leaning in to look at her. “Right?”

“...yeah,” Max admitted in a whisper and looked up to her.

Chloe kept staring at her, and staring, and staring. She pulled back and gripped her wheel again - glancing ahead absently. “Right. Then came that night. Drunk off our ass, talking confessions and shit in that ratty motel room. Remember that?”

“Chloe, of course I remember...”

Gripping the wheel even tighter, Chloe swore she could’ve ripped it out then and there. She allowed herself to take in a few breaths again - calming down. “Of course you do. Max…” she trailed off and closed her eyes.

“I was scared. Okay? I’m a chickenshit Chloe, you know that.”

“Bullshit, Max! You’re not a… chickenshit,” Chloe snapped towards her. “You’re not. You’re awesome - intelligent and brave, you just need a push. Hell - it was _you_ who kissed me!”

That got a blush out of Max. Of course it did.

“And then… the night…” Chloe mumbled and dropped back in her seat, letting out a weary sigh. “Max, I don’t think I was ever happier than I was that night,” she admitted - staring at her steering wheel. “You said you loved me.”

Max’s heart sunk deeper than it was before. Chloe’s voice was so… pained and it was because of her, because of Max. She was responsible.

“Then what did you do? You fuckin’... snuck out in the morning, got a taxi back to wherever the fuck. Nothing at all but just a note saying you were sorry,” she mumbled - closing her eyes. She had to blink away a few tears - both from anger and from sadness, pain.

“Chloe…”

“Do you realise how long I looked for you?” Chloe hissed and snapped her head towards Max. “Do you realise how fucking… long I repeated what you said to me that night?”

Max had no words. She was ashamed.

“Six-fuckin’-years. Six! Nothing. Nada. Not a word, a fuckin’ peep - no texts, no calls. Not even an effort to find me.”

Silence. Chloe sniffled and wiped at her eyes whilst Max just looked on, mouth slightly gaping. She had so much she wanted to say, but it hurt just thinking about it. She put Chloe through… so _much_ pain.

“Just… get out,” Chloe mumbled and looked away. “Get out. Whatever. I’m fuckin’... done.”

“Chloe-”

“GET OUT!”

Max jumped in her seat, absolutely not expecting Chloe’s sudden outburst. She was quick to fumble with her seatbelt and push herself out of the truck.

Seconds later there was a screech of tires as Chloe pulled away - not even saying a word to Max. She just stood there, clutching her elbow as she stared at where the truck was just a moment ago. She trembled briefly before sniffling herself - quickly running her fingers over her eyes.

Turning around, she headed to her apartment - feeling like shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter than expected
> 
> more soon


	3. once was a true love

“Refill.”

Chloe sighed as she watched the bartender promptly grab a whiskey bottle and begin pouring it in - filling her glass just enough again. She grabbed it, gave him him a brief nod before taking a sip. She immediately winced and put the glass back down - staring up at the TV in one corner; just beyond the counter.

She was trying to drink away her sorrows. It was a coping mechanism she was used to far too much, but hey - it worked once she got enough drinks in her. She was still trying to get over her and Max’s conversation just the day before.

If there was one person who acted like an asshole, it was Chloe. Of course it was - she didn’t allow Max a single word in, didn’t allow her to explain anything; she should have.

Tapping her fingers on the counter to the beat of some old song in the background, Chloe tried relaxing. Tried. She shifted on her stool again before drinking some more whiskey - thankfully the bar was just across the road from her motel; she’d only have to stumble her shitfaced self safely across and she’d be there.

That is once she got shitfaced - right now she had some way to go. Maybe she wouldn’t even get shitfaced.

Beside her hand was her phone. It vibrated again - perhaps for the 200th, maybe the 2000th time since yesterday. Chloe paid it no mind, it was only Max.

So Chloe just sat there, drinking and watching the news on the old CRT TV hung up in the corner of the bar. She was aware of the constant buzz her phone was giving off - she was now attracting some attention from the people sitting nearby.

“Hey, you gonna answer that?”

Chloe scowled and snapped her head towards one of the people who spoke to her. “Mind your own shit, dude.”

There was a brief moment of silence before she received a dismissive wave of a hand and the patron moved away from the bar - somewhere deeper into the building.

She took another drink. Then another. Then another.

Her phone was constantly going off - texts and missed calls taking up her entire screen. She couldn’t help but look whenever it did go off, couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about suddenly ghosting Max like this.

Whatever. Max ghosted her for 6 years - perhaps she deserved a taste of what Chloe went through.

Though eventually her drink ran dry and she felt buzzed enough for now. She pushed herself off her stool, dropped some bills on the counter and muttered a “Thanks” to the bartender before making way for the door. When she received a wolf whistle or two, she simply replied with a middle-finger over her shoulder.

“Ugh,” she grumbled as she stumbled out of the bar into the cold street. She glanced to her left, then her right, before making her way over the road - to the shitty motel she had rented for the few days she planned to spend in Tacoma, doing… whatever once she found Max.

She was making good on that time - ghosting Max after being a bitch to her.

Real productive.

Stopping just before the motel parking lot, she looked around. She rolled her head side-to-side a few times, thinking things over as she shifted where she stood. Perhaps she should actually try and talk to Max, not bitch at her then tell her to fuck off like she basically did.

“Fuck’s sake.”

Digging into her jacket, she took out her phone and swiped the screen. It took a while for it to unlock - but sure enough once it did, her screen was bombarded with notifications and alerts; missed calls and texts. She sighed and dismissed them all.

Then she promptly called Max.

It took less than a second for her to pick up - Chloe hadn’t even put her phone to her ear yet.

_“Hello? Chloe?”_

Chloe closed her eyes and bit her lip. She was tempted to hang up - maybe this was all a bad idea, maybe she shouldn’t have come to Tacoma, shouldn’t have troubled Max. After all, she was getting married - Chloe’s chance was long gone.

_“Chloe? I can hear you breathing, I know you’re there.”_

“Huh? Oh, shit. Uhm.”

Chloe fumbled with her jacket before glancing up at the sky. It was overcast. Uh-oh. She quickly made her way underneath a nearby awning - leaning against one of the supports. She considered her words, tried to find a way she could apologise for acting like she did yesterday.

_“Chloe, are you okay?”_

“...yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine Max, listen-”

_“Chloe, if you’re gonna apologise for yesterday then don’t. I deserved that.”_

“Bullshit you deserved that,” Chloe replied and looked about the motel. “You didn’t deserve that.”

_“Yes I did, don’t apologise. You’re right, I ghosted you for 6 years - I… didn’t make an effort to look for you, to call you or text. It’s my fault.”_

There was a part of Chloe that took that as a victory, that felt better knowing that Max blamed herself - but Chloe wasn’t looking for that. She sighed and kicked at the ground briefly.

“Max, I… I think I want to talk again. Properly this time - not over a coffee or a drink or some shit like that. I wanna talk about this - about  _us_ \- and, uh… yeah.”

When silence followed for a few seconds, Chloe thought she might’ve pushed a bit too far - scared Max away.

_“That’s fine. I want to talk too.”_

Thankfully, she didn’t scare Max away. That gave her some relief.

“Really? Oh. Oh, okay - uh… that’s great! Uh, listen… how about we go to a park or something? Somewhere we can talk - maybe like… your apartment or something?”

_“Uhm. Probably not my apartment - Warren has a day off tomorrow and... uh, how about the park? There’s a… small park near where I live, just a few minutes away. I can give you directions from my apartment so you can make it there?”_

Chloe kicked at the ground again and smiled, relaxing a bit further against the post. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds… just fine.”

_“Great! Awesome possum, I’ll-”_

“You did not just say that,” Chloe interrupted - smiling wider to herself. “Maxine Caulfield, I did not just hear you say awesome possum.”

_“...screw you, Chloe Price.”_

Chloe laughed.

* * *

 

Just a day later, Chloe was sitting on some bench in some park - just a few minutes away from Max’s apartment. She was waiting, lounging back as she looked around and saw the hive of activity - kids and parents, couples. It was nice to just watch the world go by whilst she waited on Max.

“Hey!”

Chloe turned her head towards the voice - immediately breaking into a smile as she pushed herself off the bench.

“Hey,” she replied and just kinda stood there.

Max looked up to Chloe with her own smile - neither of them moving. They just stared for a bit before they realised what they were doing.

“Oh, uh. Sit, c’mon nerd,” Chloe gestured over at the bench. “Let’s not stand around like two idiots or something.”

With a chuckle, Max sat down on the bench beside Chloe.

“So, uh, hey… listen-”

“Chloe, I already told you about not needing to apologise-”

“Max, damnit - don’t interrupt me!” Chloe snapped, immediately regretting it. “Shit, sorry, I just… sometimes… sorry.”

Max kept still for a moment before resuming her smile. “It’s fine Chloe.”

When silence followed, it was a bad sign. Chloe’s head immediately went to bad thoughts - was she making Max uncomfortable? She didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, perhaps they shouldn’t have done this, shouldn’t have met-

“So… you wanted to talk?” Max asked softly, glancing at Chloe. She allowed herself to relax back on the bench a bit.

“Yeah. I’m just… let me just apologise, seriously - okay? I… didn’t mean to snap at you back then, it’s just… talking about all this brought up old feelings and insecurities of mine. Plus, I get angered easily and when you couple that with what I was feeling… bad combo,” Chloe spoke and looked down at the ground, a sickening feeling of guilt at the back of her throat.

“It’s okay Chloe. I know that… it must’ve been hard.”

“But you don’t really, do you?” Chloe mumbled and gave her a side eye before looking away again. “Sorry.”

“...it was hard for me too, Chloe,” Max whispered and shifted in her seat. Her hands were on her lap, absently drawing shapes over her jeans. “I made the choice to do what I did. I had to live with it for 6 years.”

Chloe was silent as she listened. Max’s voice… wavered when she spoke - she could tell there was a genuine tone to it.

“You wanted to know why, right?” she murmured and finally dropped back in her place, sagging her shoulders as her head tilted just a bit. Her eyes were transfixed on the ground - on nothing in particular, just kept down out of a feeling of shame and guilt. “Truth be told, I was scared Chloe.”

“Of what?” Chloe asked quietly, looking at her.

“Of everything I was feeling. Of what we did, of what we said.”

They went silent for a bit - allowing themselves to think things over. Max needed the break and Chloe knew that - she was never good at expressing her feelings, neither of them were, but Max was a bit slower than most. They appreciated the little pause nonetheless.

“I… I beat myself up for a long time,” Max continued, her fingers now moving on to playing with her zipper as a distraction. “I wanted to answer your calls, respond to your texts but… it was easier to ignore them. To bury what I was feeling.”

“...and just what were you feeling?” Chloe enquired, shifting a bit in her own seat. Her eyes moved towards Max again - focusing on her.

Max sat there for a few seconds, mulling things over in her head. She’d kept a lot of what she felt buried for a long, long time and bringing it all up now - when she was this close to tying the knot, to marrying - it was dangerous.

“I don’t know,” she murmured and looked up at Chloe. “But it was never your fault Chloe. It was never your fault - it was mine and you’re right to be… angry at me for doing what I did. Maybe we should’ve talked, maybe done something - maybe it would be better than just… ignoring everything, burying it and… running away.”

Chloe expected more, but she took that as another small victory nonetheless. She knew Max would probably need more time to open up properly.

“Yet you’re here now and I… can’t tell you just how glad I am that you are,” Max continued, locking eyes with Chloe for just a brief second. “But things are just… so complicated now because of…” she trailed off.

“...because of the wedding? Warren?” Chloe finished for her, leaning in to get a better look at Max.

“Yeah.”

When silence followed yet again, neither of them felt awkward. It lasted maybe a minute, maybe two, as they simply looked around the park and relaxed in the warmth of the sun. Another needed break.

“So, when you said that you loved me-”

“I meant it Chloe,” Max quickly replied, looking at her. “I meant it back then. That’s… what I was feeling and it was… weird. We were friends for so long and I always thought I loved you as a friend, but it was… more…”

Chloe blushed just slightly and her heart took a few, great leaps. But she couldn’t help but notice Max’s wording, which sunk her heart right back down, lower than before. “...back then?”

Max sighed and dropped her head. “Chloe, we… I’m engaged,” she replied and looked at Chloe. “Me and Warren are getting married in less than three weeks and… I can’t, you know that. I love you now as… a friend.”

It felt like the knife that had been already stuck in her heart was pushed deeper - twisted and turned to ensure maximum pain and damage. Yet Chloe didn’t make it known. She had expected it, knew that Max would likely say something like this, so she was prepared.

“Yeah, I know Max. I’m… sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just after all these years… d-doesn’t matter,” she mumbled and shook her head. “You’re getting married. I’m happy for you, that’s great - you should be happy too. Are you happy?”

Max hesitated.

Had somebody asked her that question a week ago, she’d have said yes without a doubt. Now? Now it was… a struggle. She didn’t want to admit it.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m happy,” she replied and managed a small smile. “Warren is nice.”

Chloe smiled back and reached over to rub Max’s shoulder. “That’s great.”

Max appreciated the small gesture. She appreciated Chloe’s approval too, but there was a sinking feeling in her gut, in the back of her head too. Did either of them speak genuinely just then?

“Alright. But I gotta know Max, this shit has been bothering me for 6 years…”

“...go on…” Max mumbled, her eyes slightly narrowed with suspicion.

“Was the sex great or what?” Chloe teased, a shit-eating grin immediately forming. “Don’t lie - I know that I blew your mind.”

Max  _fucking blushed_ and whipped her head away, immediately snapping it back towards Chloe before leaning over to hit her on the shoulder. “You absolute asshole!” she exclaimed, her cheeks burning.

Chloe just grinned wider and shuffled away, rubbing at her shoulder. “Oh yeah, the sex was great,” she said and bobbed her head. “Good to know, Max. Good to know.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe you,” Max mumbled and covered her cheeks with her hands - waiting for her blush to fade. She sighed and looked over at Chloe. “...but yes, it was.”

It was Chloe’s turn to suddenly sputter and blush as she looked at Max - her mouth wide open in surprise. She hadn’t expected Max to actually answer and she didn’t quite realise what her own reaction would be to it.

“...woah,” she simply muttered and gulped, looking away. “Mhm. That’s great to know. Y-yeah.”

Max smirked and leaned back - taking  _that_ as her own victory.

* * *

 

With all of that off their chest, Max and Chloe spent a few more hours in the park just… doing things. Talking, walking - catching up still. Max learned a lot about Chloe’s past 6 years - including some of the hurtful things - and Chloe learned a lot about Max’s past 6 years, which in comparison to her were pretty happy.

Yet they were both hurting during those 6 years - that much was certain.

Then at the end, Chloe had offered to drop Max off at her apartment rather than make her walk back - despite the short distance.

It took only a few minutes, but sure enough Chloe had once again taken Max safely back home - parking up quickly on a curb just outside. Her hands came to rest on the wheel as she just sat there, going quiet.

“Okay, so… look Max,” she started and turned to face her. “I’m only in Tacoma for one more day - I took off a few days of work so I could… do all this,” she mumbled and shrugged. “I was wondering if maybe for the last day we could have some fun? Just… drop the heavy shit, head out to a bar or something?”

Max raised both her eyebrows. “Oh. I mean… yeah! Of course,” she replied, her lips curling into a smile. “Sure! Of course we can go to a bar, why not?”

“...and Warren won’t have any issue with this?” she mumbled, glancing away. She was afraid she might’ve been pushing boundaries here.

“...why would Warren have an issue with it?” Max muttered and looked at Chloe. “I don’t see why, I’m just hanging out with my friend.”

Chloe let out a silent sigh of relief, though not sure why, and then smiled herself. “Okay. That’s great, sorry - I thought he might’ve been opposed to it or something. Dunno.”

Max looked Chloe over and then sighed, rubbing at her temples. “Chloe, Warren  _isn’t_ like that-”

“I didn’t say anything-”

“You implied it,” Max spoke up. “He’s sweet really,” she mumbled and looked off to the side.

It became harder to say things like that for whatever reason. Max had an inkling, an idea, as to why it was - but she kept it repressed and buried. She couldn’t think about it, not now.

“Sorry,” Chloe apologised and shrugged. “Anyway. I’ll text you the details, then come pick you up tomorrow?”

Max furrowed her eyebrows. “I mean, I know a bar nearby-”

“Yeah, yeah - but let me take you out to one?” Chloe interrupted and smiled. “I have a feeling your taste in bars is shitty.”

“Oh, now that's just  _rude-”_

“Bite me,” Chloe snickered and tapped her hands on the steering wheel again. “You know it's true. Just let ya gurl here choose.”

Max hesitated and hesitated and hesitated. Then she finally nodded and rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine -  _you_ can pick the bar. Happy?” she mumbled and shook her head.

Chloe just smirked and bobbed her head. “Mhm, just fine Maximo. Take care and stay safe, yeah?”

In a moment of silence, Max on impulse leaned in - then realised what she did, awkwardly trying to recover and pushing her arms out in an attempt to hug Chloe instead. She bit her lip and cringed internally at herself as Chloe somehow half-hugged her back; but it was awkward doing it across the two seats.

“This was the most awkward hug I’ve ever gotten,” Chloe mumbled as they pulled away.

Max blushed and then groaned, quickly hitting Chloe on the thigh.

“Ow, what the fuck!”

“At least I gave you a hug,” Max mumbled and then opened the door, pushing herself out of the truck. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Chloe blushed a bit, looked around and then faced Max again. “For sure. See you tomorrow.”

With that, Chloe watched as Max slammed the door shut and took off for her apartment. Her eyes didn’t leave her once - not until she was up the steps and disappearing behind the door. Then, when she was gone, Chloe sighed.

“Just what are you doing Chloe Price,” she mumbled to herself - pulling the truck off the curb and onto the road. “Just what are you doing, you gay mess.”

She sighed again and turned up the radio.


	4. ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?)

Max wasn’t getting much sleep.

Well, truth be told, she wasn’t getting much sleep since Chloe had suddenly burst back into her life - except now it was worse. A lot worse. She simply couldn’t close her eyes without having to shift to her side, back onto her back, then to her other side.

She did it so much that Warren even complained - and Warren never complained because he was a heavy sleeper.

Max sighed and blinked - once, twice. She looked up at the ceiling of her room, it was probably the early hours of the morning or something, and she just stared and stared and stared.

But she wasn’t just staring - she was thinking. Thinking very hard and very carefully about…

...everything really.

“Ugh,” she grumbled and threw her covers off herself, quietly getting out of bed. She didn’t hear Warren complain - just snore.

Quietly - and slowly - she took a walk around her apartment. She stopped here or there, admired some art she had bought once or inspected some quirky thing she got from a thrift store. She crossed her living room a few times, looking picture to picture - reminiscing things.

Yet she kept coming back to one picture in particular - the only picture that was different from the rest really.

Max, Chloe and Rachel - just a few days before graduation.

As she looked and sighed to herself, there was that feeling again - the sinking, slightly sickening feeling in the pits of her stomach. Her heart swelled and slowed and Max just kept looking, reaching up to grab her elbow - rubbing it absently.

There was guilt, but there was more.

She had no reason to feel the way she did around Chloe - no reason at all, right? Yet everything they did together just seemed… so much better than anything Max ever did with Warren, despite being together for so long.

Their conversations were more animated. Their shared smiles, laughs and simple gestures were so much more… lively and filled with so much more…

...love?

Max groaned and suddenly grasped at her hair, pulling at it in frustration.

This was not… ideal. Not at all.

She couldn’t be falling in love now - she  _couldn’t._ Not three weeks away from her wedding, not whilst she’s in a relationship with someone else.

Rubbing at her temples, she tried to think things through. There was still time, wasn’t there? She could just tell Warren she’s not ready, that maybe they’re rushing things. She could do that, then maybe bide her time, maybe eventually distance herself, maybe eventually break up-

No -  _stop_ \- just… what the  _hell_ was she thinking about right now?

This was so stupid, she couldn’t just do that - she couldn’t. It wasn’t right.

Yet the thought was there, the idea was there.

Max yawned and rubbed at her eyes. With a sigh, she walked over to the couch and flopped down - closing her eyes and thinking again.

This was so bad.

* * *

 

There was a cloud of awkwardness that clung to Max the entire following day. Whether it was the morning, or the midday or even the afternoon - everything she did and said to Warren was difficult. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this way.

Questions were asked: Why did Max sleep alone on the couch? Why did she suddenly act so weird towards somebody she was  _engaged_ with?

Max just kinda shrugged at those questions and claimed that “It just wasn’t her day today” before moving on to do something else - away from Warren.

It was fucking awful and Max couldn’t shake the feeling off.

* * *

 

Chloe picked Max up later that day - ready for their night out. Chloe promised it wouldn’t be wild. Max didn’t believe her.

“W’sup dude?” Chloe eventually asked, seeing how Max looked distant. She took a quick drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke out of the open window. “Everything good? Second thoughts on the night out?”

Max shifted in her seat, glanced at Chloe and then looked away. “No. No, just… thinking. Sorry, this wedding has me doing circles around myself about everything.”

“...everything?” Chloe mumbled, raising an eyebrow. “Whaddya mean?”

“Like… uh, making sure everything goes to… plan…?” Max replied and kept looking away. “I just feel like I’ll fuck up somewhere, like I’ll fail something and just… give up…?”

Chloe frowned, scoffed and reached over to give Max a gentle shove. “Pfft - dude, you’re not gonna fuck up anything. I know you girl, you’re gonna rock it.”

There was a small smile that graced Max’s lips for a few brief moments whilst she looked at Chloe, but then she looked away again. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Max - you kissed me first,” Chloe suddenly pointed out as she focused on the road, humming along to the radio. “I’d like you to remember that. You - the person who is currently having doubts - kissed  _me_ \- the person who was  _afraid_ of kissing you - first.”

That didn’t help Max at all. Not at all. It made it worse, it made her blush and it certainly stirred those feelings she's been struggling with recently. Not good.

“Seriously Max, you’ve got far more courage than me. You’re smart and you’re amazing,” Chloe continued, gesturing her hand about as the truck came to a stop at some traffic lights. She took a drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke away again.

“Chloe…”

“Yeah, Yeah - I know. I’m being a sap, but it’s true,” she mumbled and gave Max a sideways glance. “Believe in yourself. That’s it. I’m shutting up now.”

Making good on that promise, Chloe kept silent as they drove on and on. Max listened to the radio, to the sounds of the city around them. She listened to Chloe sing quietly to herself, tap her fingers to the beat of the music. She watched her and watched her before she soon realised she was staring.

She looked away and kept quiet - thinking.

“Just where are you taking me anyway?” Max eventually asked, looking at Chloe.

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

Max didn’t like the sound of that.

* * *

 

Chloe took Max to a lesbian bar.

“Chloe, you took me to a  _lesbian bar?”_

“Max, I took you to a lesbian bar.”

Unbelievable.

“Chloe, I can’t be here, I’m not-”

“Lesbian?” Chloe interrupted and stopped in her tracks, looking at Max. “Who cares? We’re here to get drunk in a nice atmosphere, not to hook up for a threesome.”

Max sputtered and blushed and covered her cheeks, groaning loudly as she stood there - watching as Chloe simply smirked and held her hands on her hips. “Chloe…”

“Max, Max, Maaax… relax,” Chloe said and walked over, dropping her arm over Max’s shoulders. “Like I said - we’re here to get drunk.  _If_ it so happens that me or you have a  _plus one_ at the end of the night…”

“No, Chloe - that is...  _not_ happening,” Max immediately shut her down. “No. We’re here to… only drink. That’s  _it._ Nothing else.”

With a sigh, Chloe dropped her head and looked at the floor. “Man, you really know how to suck the fun out of everything, huh?” she grumbled.

“Chloe, I’m getting married,” Max said matter-of-factly, but she had that sinking feeling again, that doubt. “I’m not in... an open relationship. This isn’t going to end up in a threesome. We’re drinking and… that’s it.”

Chloe groaned loudly and pulled herself off Max, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Fine. Whatever. Lets just go and get drunk.”

“Chloe…”

Walking forward a few feet, Chloe eventually stopped and spun around on her heel - looking at Max. She gave her a sudden grin and rocked up and down on her heels. “What?”

“Just… nothing,” Max murmured and shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s just… go get drunk.”

Chloe grinned even wider and waited up until Max walked up beside her. “See? Now you’re speaking my language!”

Max just smiled and followed Chloe. She hoped they wouldn’t get too drunk.

She hoped.

* * *

 

Max’s hopes didn’t last long.

Chloe ordered them drinks - some straight alcohol for herself and some kind of mixed drink for Max; something she said she’d like. Max didn’t trust that and not because she didn’t trust Chloe, no, she trusted her. She simply had no real taste for alcohol.

They found a booth and sat down, somewhere near the dance floor, and they talked. Mostly stupid shit, mostly future plans. Chloe was very interested in Max’s plans for after the wedding, whilst Max tried to deflect all that and ask what Chloe wanted to do.

It definitely got Chloe’s eyebrow raised a few times - the ways that Max deflected and looked away - but whatever. She indulged.

“I dunno dude,” she spoke and looked down at her glass, mindlessly swirling it around and around and around - looking at the contents. “I… wanna settle down one day I guess. I mean like… get myself somebody, y’know?” she mumbled.

Max just kinda sat there and nodded, taking a sip from her glass.

“It’s hard though. Everyone I’ve been with has either been just a one night stand from places like this,” she gestured around, “or somebody I dated for a few weeks before realising they’re not somebody I’m just… willing to spend my life with, y’know? It’s hard finding that person.”

“Yeah, I…” Max started and stopped, realising what she might’ve just wanted to say. She blamed the alcohol on that, despite the fact she barely drank yet. “I’m n-not sure how that feels but… you’re gonna find someone, I know you will.”

Chloe nodded and raised her glass - taking a long drink. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe.”

As they both went silent, they both opted to drink for a while. Max’s eyes kept falling onto Chloe, just like Chloe’s did onto hers. They shared a smile before they resumed talking - more plans, more memories. It was nice.

They went through one drink - their first. Quickly afterwards Chloe ordered them another, a refill for herself and the same thing for Max. With drinks in hand - they kept talking and smiling and laughing. Then came the third drink. By this point they were both buzzed - Max more so than Chloe.

Max had to admit though - this all felt nice. Being with Chloe felt nice, she didn’t even deny that anymore. The longer they talked, the longer they kept their stares on one another.

“Hey!” Chloe eventually called out over the music, reaching over to grab Max’s hand. “Dance?” she proposed.

“No, no, no-”

“Alright, that’s a yes in my books!” Chloe exclaimed and grinned, taking one last drink from her glass before pushing herself up. She dragged Max up right afterwards - laughing. “C’mon!”

“Chloe, no, no - I suck at dancing!”

“Hey, who cares?” Chloe continued dragging Max towards the dance floor. “Look, just consider this… practice for your wedding!”

Max rolled her eyes and smiled. “Alright, alright! Fine!”

So they took to the dance floor.

* * *

 

It was… exciting.

Chloe began them slow, mostly just dragging and flailing Max’s arms about to the beat of the music - swaying them around. They laughed even more, shared smiles. At some point Max even started dancing on her own - probably a mix of Chloe’s courage rubbing off on her and the nice buzz she was getting from her drink.

Then things actually got  _exciting._

As beats changed, so did Chloe’s moves. She was closer now, almost breathing onto Max as the two danced. Their bodies were… incredibly close, moving in tandem.

Max blushed but laughed it off quickly, the alcohol finally starting to settle right. Chloe grinned and pulled her even closer.

They danced and danced and danced.

Chloe felt happy, truly happy right then and there - something she didn’t feel for a long time. Max was much the same, finding that Chloe’s presence right there beside her was magnetic, attracting her.

In that moment her doubts were gone.

* * *

 

“Ah -  _shit_ \- dude, fuck!”

Max giggled as she followed Chloe into the motel room, patting her back. “You’ll live,” she said and hiccuped, giggling again.

Chloe groaned and leaned down to look at her boots, swearing beneath her breath. “Dude I could’ve broken my toe there,” she grumbled and looked over her shoulder at the curb - throwing up the middle finger towards it before slamming the door shut.

“Ugh,” Max grunted and let herself fall back onto the bed in the middle of the room.

They decided it was probably safer if Chloe didn’t drive back to Max’s apartment - Chloe’s motel was closer anyway. Max could bunk for the night.

“Nu-uh, dude, I’m sleepin’ on the bed,” Chloe mumbled as she went about taking off her boots - hopping around on one leg. She sat on the edge of the bed to take off the other - probably smarter.

Max sighed and pushed herself up to untie her Chucks, throwing them off to the side. “Fine.”

Chloe fell back onto the bed - splaying herself out. Max followed suit.

They just lied there - staring at the ceiling.

Moments later they both rolled over onto their side - facing one another. They hadn't even said a word, made a gesture or anything; it just felt natural.

"Hey," Chloe whispered and smiled.

"Hi," Max replied and smiled right back.

They stared at one another. Moments later Chloe rolled over onto her back again - Max did too.

“You ever think like…” Chloe started and furrowed her eyebrows. “Maybe that… in one of those crazy, crazy parallel universe things,” she waved her hand out above them, “you ever think we ended up together?”

Max kept silent, thinking it over. “Yeah. Yeah. Maybe in one or two. Maybe a few more. They’re infinite, right?”

Chloe dropped her hand and hummed.

“Chloe?” Max mumbled and rolled her head lazily to the side to look at her.  
  
Reciprocating, Chloe gazed right back. “Yeah?”

“You ever had this… feeling in your gut?”

“...elaborate,” Chloe said and rolled her head away, giving her eyes a quick rub before looking back at Max. “Whaddya mean?”

“Like…” she trailed off, thinking for a few seconds. It was hard with the alcohol, more so than usual.

“That’s not helping,” Chloe teased and rolled back over onto her side - bracing herself on her elbow. “Tell me.”

Max squinted as she stared at the ceiling. “Like… this feeling that at some point in your life you just… made the wrong choice? Like… you made the wrong choice and suddenly you have this… one chance to fix it? Like its granted to you?”

Chloe stared at Max, frowning in confusion. “...no, I can’t say I have…”

“Ugh…” Max sighed and closed her eyes. “It’s just… I’ve been… thinking-”

“Dangerous.”

“-oh, shut up!” Max snapped back and reached over to shove at Chloe. “Ass.”

“A hot piece of ass,” Chloe corrected her and grinned.

Max just groaned and dragged her hands across her face. “You are not… helping here…”

“Alright, fine. I’ll shut up Maximus. Speak.”

There was a moment of quiet as Chloe stared at Max whilst she just lay there - gazing up at the ceiling. Max furrowed her eyebrows in thought again, humming to herself. Chloe just kept watching - she could watch Max forever and not get bored. Well. Probably, anyway.

“Chloe, I… look, I’ve been… having these… sudden doubts, these thoughts in my head and…” Max trailed off again and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. It was hard talking about this. She wanted to - she really did - but she just couldn’t find her footing.

“...I think you need sleep,” Chloe spoke up after a few moments and reached over to put her hand on Max’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Missy, you are drunk and can’t think straight.”

“No -  _Chloe_ \- that’s not… I am  _not_ drunk,” Max protested and pushed her hand away. “I’m just… I need to say this, but I just can’t find the right… damn words, _ugh!”_

Chloe watched as Max pushed herself up and sat down on the bed, rubbing at her eyes. She pushed herself up too, shuffling over to sit beside her. Again she reached for her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

They sat there for a few seconds - Max gathering her thoughts whilst Chloe did her best to comfort her. Max appreciated the simple gestures, the reassuring touches and squeezes she received from Chloe.

She didn’t get those from Warren.

Max got an… idea. It was stupid, something she remembered Chloe doing way back when, but they were drunk enough now and there was a good chance it would work. It was all up to Chloe really.

“Chloe, I… I dare you to… to k-kiss me.”

Chloe blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

“...what?”

“I dare you to kiss me!” Max repeated, crossing her arms as she turned to face Chloe.

“...Max, I…”

Max knew that Chloe wouldn’t do it. She knew she wouldn’t.

“Max-”

So she did it herself.

Chloe let out a quiet groan as she suddenly found Max’s lips on hers, pressing in and pushing. She felt her hands grab onto her shoulders and push her back, Max following right after. She didn't resist, didn't complain - she went along with it.

They kissed - it wasn’t simple either. No pecks or smooches, no, Max went in  _hard_ and all Chloe could do is follow as her own hands somehow ended up on Max’s sides - just rubbing there, otherwise feeling useless.

“...woah,” was all that Chloe could say after they finally broke away a minute or so later - breathless and flushed with colour.

Max didn’t regret that. She actually didn't regret that.

“Max-”

“Shh,” Max shushed her and placed a finger on her lips. “Don’t say anything. Let’s just…” she trailed off - leaning back down as she pulled away her finger.

Chloe groaned again as Max began to kiss her - yet this time their hands were over one another in moments and the kisses weren’t slow; they were quick, passionate, lustful. They rolled over once, perhaps twice - almost definitely more than that.

Max felt happy and alive. Chloe felt happy and alive.

It was amazing - thrilling, exciting.

It felt real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chloe price ms steal yo girl  
> next chapter tomorrow


	5. it doesn't bother me to be alone

When Max woke up the following morning, she did so slowly and lazily.

There were two arms wrapped around her, one tattooed, and she knew -  _she knew_ \- just exactly what she’d done the night before. She wasn’t that drunk. Okay. Maybe she was, but she was in control  _most_  of the time. She knew exactly what she was doing when she kissed Chloe. Definitely.

She knew exactly what she was doing when it went even further than that.

Did she regret it?

Max was a bit... hesitant to answer herself.

Shifting carefully, she allowed herself to sink back and… relax. She closed her eyes again and just breathed - tried to match it with that of Chloe behind her, nosed up in her hair. It was calming.

“You awake?”

Max kept silent for a few seconds before finally nodding.

“Max, we should talk about... y'know-”

“Let’s not talk about it,” Max suggested - interrupting Chloe - before she rolled her head to the side, looking at up at her in her peripheral.

Chloe was quiet before momentarily nodding. “Okay.”

So they laid there in quiet - breathing and thinking. Thinking.  _Thinking._

Max was overcome with so many conflicted feelings and she needed time to figure it all out, but she didn’t want to move away from Chloe, didn’t want to make it seem like she regretted things. She still couldn’t answer that truthfully, not until she sorted everything out; her head was a mess.

This was all a mess.

There was a sinking feeling in her stomach again - guilt, but it was worse than before; much, much worse. She  _cheated_ on Warren. She was getting  _married_ in less than 3 weeks now and she  _cheated_ on him. If things at home weren’t awkward enough already the day before, they sure as fuck were going to be now.

Could she even keep a straight face when talking to him?

“Talk to me,” Chloe whispered, voice muffled against her nest of hair. “Was this…?”

Max groaned and covered her face, rubbing her temples briefly as she tried to find the words to describe it all. “I… I honestly don’t know Chloe…”

Chloe just sighed and didn’t speak again.

That hurt.

She should’ve figured that this was a mistake, just a case of one drink too many. It hurt, but it was true. Not the first time it happened.

“We shouldn’t have done that," she simply said and moved her head back - pressing it against the headboard. "It was a mistake."

Max sighed and rubbed her temples even harder. “No, Chloe, that’s not what I-”

“That’s exactly what you meant,” Chloe interrupted and suddenly pushed herself up, moving out from beneath Max. She shuffled herself over to the edge of the bed, leaning over her knees as she dropped her face into her hand - groaning. "Fuck. Ugh."

“Chloe…”

“Max, d-don’t… don’t. Just don’t.”

Max looked at Chloe and did her best to ignore the fact she was naked, even though she had her back turned to her. She reached out with her hand, curled up her fingers and bit her lip - then she pulled her hand back. Perhaps it was best she didn’t do anything.

Nothing new there.

“This was all just… a drunken mistake,” Chloe mumbled and rubbed her eyes, looking over her shoulder at Max. “That’s it, right?”

Max didn’t answer her - her voice was caught in the back of her throat.

“We just got fucking… shitfaced and we fucked. That’s it. No strings attached,” Chloe mumbled before reaching over for her shirt. “That’s… whatever, dude. Happens all the time. I'm used to it.”

“Chloe, that’s not… it isn’t like that...”

Chloe stopped, sighed and then looked at Max over her shoulder again. “It’s not?” she murmured and shook her head. “But it is, Max. You’re getting married to Warren - this was just a drunken mistake. One too many, we got carried away. You  _know_  that.”

As Chloe pushed herself off the bed, Max reached over and grabbed her hand - keeping her still.

“Max-”

“No, Chloe - you  _listen,”_  Max interrupted and closed her eyes, finding a bit of courage, breathing slowly. “This… isn’t a mistake. I don’t…”

Just as quick as her courage came, it went.

They looked at one another for just a few seconds - Max hoping that Chloe would understand - but Chloe rolled her eyes and pulled away, pushing herself up. She walked around the room and got dressed slowly - ignoring the fact Max was looking at her the entire time, speechless.

Max eventually just dropped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

“I’m gonna go wash up, you get dressed,” Chloe said as she made her way for the small bathroom attached to the room. “I’ll take you back home, then I gotta go back to Portland.”

Briefly rubbing her eyes, Max squeezed them shut and did her best to not shed tears as she heard the bathroom door slamming closed and promptly locking.

This fucking sucked.

* * *

 

The ride back to Max’s apartment sucked even more.

Having to wear her hair down (Max’s hair band went missing somewhere, but whatever), Max kept looking over at Chloe and trying to find words, anything really that she could say to Chloe and tell her that this wasn’t a mistake.

Because right now she firmly believed it wasn’t, but words were hard and Chloe  _really_  didn't make it easier.

“Chloe-”

“Max, no.”

Silence for another few minutes. Chloe didn’t once take her eyes off the road.

“Chloe, can we please just-”

“Max, stop. Just stop,” Chloe muttered and finally looked at her. "It was a one night stand, that's it, you're marrying Warren. We had one drink too many, there was... it was just sex, okay? Jesus."

Max just went quiet and looked away, biting her lip. She didn’t want to say anything, but that fucking hurt. Chloe’s dismissal of everything she tried to say, even though she was quite clearly trying to admit that she didn’t regret this, or at least wanted to talk about it...

...that hurt.

She felt betrayed- she thought that Chloe felt similar, that she still loved her but…

...perhaps she was wrong, like always. Perhaps she should’ve just treated this as exactly what Chloe said it was - a one night stand, no strings attached. No feelings, no expectations - just drunken sex.

It still fucking hurt though.

Max didn’t even know what to think anymore, what to do. It felt  _wrong_  going back to Warren and acting like nothing happened. It felt  _wrong_  leaving Chloe without talking properly about what happened between them, letting her just... go back to Portland after that.

It felt wrong knowing that in less than 3 weeks she was being married and she wasn’t happy about it, not anymore. She didn’t want this. Yet what choice did she have?

Chloe eventually pulled the truck up outside Max’s apartment, but it was after another gruelling 15 minutes or so. They were silent the entire time - there wasn’t even music, something that Max found almost jarring considering just how much Chloe loved it.

Outside of the apartment, they sat there in the truck - silent and still.

“Chloe, I…” Max started and trailed off, looking at her feet. She scuffed her sneakers together and looked out the window.

Chloe just looked out the opposite window, shifting her hand on the steering wheel. “You gonna go?” she asked after a few seconds. “We’re here.”

Max opened her mouth to speak but stopped again. She hung her head, sagged her shoulders and pushed herself out of the truck - yet kept holding onto the door so Chloe wouldn’t drive away. She looked to the ground and kicked absently at the pavement.

“Chloe, I’ll… t-text you the details of everything soon. I want you there,” Max said, forcing the words out of her mouth. She finally glanced up towards her.

“Yeah. I’ll see if I can make it,” Chloe replied and shrugged, still looking away - not meeting Max’s eyes. “Work is busy sometimes.”

“...okay,” Max whispered and again looked to the floor.

This was so fucking hard. Max didn’t want to admit it, but she felt like she was saying goodbye and she really didn’t want to. She didn’t want to say goodbye, not to Chloe.

“Drive safe,” Max added and swung the door closed. She shoved her hands into her hoodie and looked at the truck.

It pulled away moments later - no actual goodbyes exchanged by either of them.

Max kept staring at the spot where the truck just was. She stared and stared and stared - ignoring the fact she was getting colder with each passing second, that she was both trembling because of that and also the fact she was holding in tears.

She turned around and headed home.

* * *

 

“Where were you?” was the first question Warren asked when Max got back home.

Max sighed, rubbed her forehead and shook her head. “I got drunk and so did Chloe, so I... bunked in her motel room for the night,” she replied - walking in and right past him.

That already felt awkward, just being near him. She could feel Warren's gaze set upon her.

“I could’ve picked you up,” Warren said as he followed Max, watching her. “You didn’t even text or call. I was worried.”

Max groaned and turned around, looking at him. “Yeah, well - I forgot. I was drunk,” she said firmly and frowned. “I’m fine, I’m here aren’t I?” she continued and turned back around - walking away.

Warren watched and watched and then quickly followed. “Max, what’s wrong?”

“Ugh! It’s nothing Warren!” she shot back and stopped again, turning around to look at him. “I got drunk and forgot I have a low tolerance, figure it out!” she hissed, hoping it would be enough to push him away for a while.

Blinking, Warren stood there and watched as Max disappeared into their bedroom - slamming the door closed. He sighed and went back to doing what he was doing before.

Max meanwhile locked herself in the bathroom - collapsing onto the edge of the bathtub and throwing her face into her hands.

She did her best to not break up, but it didn’t last long.

At least she managed to keep her sobs, cries and sniffles relatively quiet.

* * *

 

Two, perhaps three hours later Chloe was still on the road.

She had finally decided to turn on the radio at some point, as usual blasting her punk songs. She didn’t hum along though, didn’t tap her fingers to the beat, the rough guitars - she didn’t sing to herself either.

Chloe just focused on the road, doing her best to not think.

It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t exactly hard.

One night stands were Chloe’s speciality after years, yet this one was different. This one was with Max, somebody who she still loved to an extent - but was it as a friend, or as something more?

Who the fuck was she kidding - of course it was something more.

But she couldn’t love her as something more. Max was getting married. That was the end of that.

She still felt like a huge asshole for not even allowing Max to talk though. She did it twice now, chose to ignore her and push her away. It was hard to trust people, but it was harder to trust people who abandoned her before. What were the chances that Max simply wanted to smooth things over and forget what happened, rather than tell Chloe the truth, what she felt and what all... _this_  was that was going on between them?

Pretty fucking high, Chloe bet.

So Chloe treated this as some sort of goodbye between the two. Perhaps they both needed to move on, not linger on one another. Max was happy with Warren, and Chloe… Chloe would figure out how to be happy eventually.

Maybe she could get drunk - that would be a nice start.

Chloe sighed and dropped her head sideways into her hand, resting her elbow on the door. She drove and drove and drove - and soon enough she saw signs for Portland appearing. She followed each one.

Feeling the need for a cigarette, Chloe reached into her jacket - foraging about in one pocket. She withdrew her hand and patted herself down, suddenly finding herself short of a pack.

“Fucking…” she grumbled and sighed, checking each pocket again. "Ugh, where the fuck are you?"

She found something, but it wasn’t her cigarette packet. Again she took her hand out and held up the item in question - looking it over for a few seconds.

Max’s hair band.

Fuck’s sake.

It seems on impulse she went ahead and stole it somehow, she didn’t even remember when; probably some time during the night when Max was a crumpled mess on the sheets, trying to catch her breath. That was the likeliest scenario - she liked Max wearing her hair down, not in some ponytail. 

“Idiot,” Chloe whispered and closed her hand around the band, placing it down on her lap.

She did her best to not think about it, but maybe she should’ve thrown it off to the side or something and not  _kept it in her hand the entire time._ She brought it back up and looked it over again.

Chloe closed her eyes for a second, let out a quiet breath and then leaned forward - placing her forehead against the steering wheel. She just hoped a state trooper wasn’t about to see her doing that.

“Fucking stupid,” she scolded herself - hitting her head a few times against the wheel before leaning back and getting her bearings back on on the road.

Her eyes dropped down to the gear stick, to the collection of hair bands she had there. She mulled it over, wondered if leaving something like that would be smart, whether she’d just remember Max again sometime later and regret doing what she did.

Chloe looked at the hair band, then the gear stick, then the road - finally resting her eyes on the rearview mirror.

Then she reached up and tied the hair band around the mirror instead - letting it hang there along with her other gizmos; her pair of dice, her silver cross and miniature handcuffs.

She sighed and leaned back - focusing on the road properly.

Though her eyes kept straying up to the mirror, to the hair band.

This was going to be…

…hard.

Chloe could get through this, could forget. She just needed to... not look at the mirror. Yeah. That would work.

Probably, anyway.

Ugh. Putting it up there was idiotic, the exact opposite of what she needed to do. She'd take it down once she got to Portland or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> :(  
> more tomorrow, 3 more chapters left


	6. i’m going through withdrawals ever since you said we were through

As days passed, everything kind of blurred together and it didn't get easier.

Chloe worked pretty much everyday since getting back to Portland. Sometimes she’d head out to a bar, drink - try to forget. She’d regret it the following morning, but whatever - she’d always be ready for work.

She had to be - it was a tremendous responsibility to help those kids, the troubled youth. Chloe made every effort to always do her best, push it to 110% even - she was proud of doing what she did.

She couldn’t show up hungover though, looking like hell. Nobody noticed though, they never did, so she was fine in that department thankfully.

Communication between her and Max was… limited.

They shared a few texts, mostly stuff to do with the wedding though - time and details. Neither of them mentioned that night, nor what they said during it and then in the morning right afterwards. It was probably a memory they both wanted to forget, especially with how they... left everything afterwards.

 _Probably_  wanted to forget.

More than likely not - that was Chloe's case at least; something she realised only a day or two after getting back to Portland. It felt shitty, but she felt helpless.

Chloe was almost sure they shared an ‘I love you’ once or twice - a real, genuine one - but perhaps she was just making shit up to make herself feel worse, or maybe just misremembering things. After all, they were drunk.

_Thanks, brain._

And whilst the wedding approached, Chloe wrestled with herself over what to do.

Should she attend? Should she watch as Max, somebody she loved, was married off to another? Should she watch as they kissed, said their vows, promised themselves to one another for the rest of eternity or some sappy bullshit like that?

 _Could_ she even do that without breaking apart? Without interrupting or starting some sort of stupid movie-level drama?

The answer wasn’t clear, but as time passed and the day approached…

...Chloe was leaning to completely abandoning the idea of attending. It would be easier. She wouldn’t have to suffer heartbreak, wouldn't act out of line - perhaps all she could do is call Max, tell her she couldn’t attend, wish her well and then just…

...never call, text or visit? Ghost her like she’d done to Chloe?

She’d get over it eventually, somehow. Lots of drinking probably, a few more one night stands and failed relationships. Perhaps leaning on Rachel’s shoulder and crying her eyes out for a few hours too... maybe a few days, weeks or months.

She’d get over it - after all, she survived 6 years without Max, didn't she?

* * *

 

Max’s life had become… incredibly stressful since Chloe appeared, swept her away and disappeared almost as quickly as she came. Her work was far more demanding than she remembered and her relationship with Warren was… strained to say the least. Okay, it was worse than strained.

Where once they could avoid arguments for months, they know argued at least once a week.

At first.

It then came down to every few days, then every other day, then every day and now…

...now it was every few hours, especially if they stayed near one another for too long.

It wasn't healthy.

But for whatever reason, Max still allowed herself to go ahead with the wedding. She still allowed herself to marry Warren despite the fact things were breaking between them and maybe everything she felt for him was no longer true, if it even ever was.

Marriage would fix things, she thought to herself. Make her forget Chloe, what she felt. It had to.

Yeah.

Marriage would fix things.

“Hey,” Warren spoke - breaking Max out of her thoughts.

“Mhm?” she simply hummed, looking back down at her book as she heard him walk over to the couch. She could feel his presence as he leaned over slightly - looking down at her. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk?” he asked, rubbing his eyes momentarily. “Like… seriously talk Max?”

“...why?” Max mumbled and closed her eyes.

She already wanted this to stop. She didn’t feel like having this conversation, not now.

“Max, we’re getting married in a few days and we’re arguing every day,” he pointed out and walked around the couch - sitting on the edge so he could look directly at Max.

She didn’t meet his gaze - instead she kept herself confined to her book.

“We… need to stop and talk and figure this out before we tie the knot, don’t you think?” he continued, reaching over to grab her hand. He smiled and looked down a bit. “C’mon.”

Max took in a deep breath and immediately sighed. She closed her book and pulled her hand away from his, shifting back and to the side to sit beside him - but not too close, not like usual.

“Warren, I… I need some fresh air first, okay?” Max said quietly, looking down to the floor. She knocked her feet together gently, biting her lip. “Let me go and think things through, then we can talk.”

Warren frowned. “Max, I really think we should-”

“Warren,” Max interrupted and finally looked at him. “I need fresh air. I’m not about to run away.”

He blinked. With a sigh of his own, he nodded and pulled his hand back - resting it awkwardly on his lap. “Fine. Okay. I’ll be here. Just… don’t take too long.”

It was Max’s turn to frown. “I’ll take however long I need,” she snapped back, narrowing her eyes on him before she pushed herself up.

She was out of there before Warren could stop her.

* * *

 

Max stared at her phone as she sat in the local park, huddled in her jacket. It was pretty cold, but she didn’t care. What she needed was the fresh air and it helped. It really helped.

She continued to stare at her phone, thinking.

Leaning back on the bench, she sighed loudly and reached up to drag her hands down her face. She let out a muffled groan and stared up at the sky - watching as the clouds passed by.

It was calming, let her gather her own clouded thoughts together.

As days passed and the weeks dwindled down, Max had found herself remembering more and more of that night between her and Chloe. It first came in snippets, then her dreams - ones that would admittedly leave her hot and bothered. That didn't help.

She remembered their words, their kisses - the sex.

Max blushed and shrank down further into her jacket, hiding herself from nobody in particular.

What was perhaps the most striking part of her memories though was the brief moment they shared before they got too heavily into everything. The simple look they shared, the small affections.

Max was pretty fucking sure they said ‘I love you’ to one another, perhaps once, perhaps twice. Maybe even more times that she couldn’t yet remember.

“Ugh,” Max grumbled and dropped her head into her hands again, rubbing at her face in frustration. Her eyes opened back up and she stared down at her phone, still just there, lying on her lap - taunting her. 

Fuck it.

* * *

 

Chloe took a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke away as she sat on the small half-wall, just outside the place she worked. She was off to the side, out of the view of the windows - she didn’t want the kids seeing her. Her eyes strayed down to her lap and she just held her gaze there, thinking.

On her lap was her phone.

It was there everyday, every time she had a break. She’d been wanting to finally call Max, to finally tell her that she wouldn’t be able to attend.

It was difficult and she hadn’t done it yet, obviously. Perhaps because she didn't want to, or because she didn't trust herself to not do or say something stupid. Like maybe profess her love, or tell Max to not get married, to wait, maybe things wouldn't work out between her and Warren and-

“Fuck it-”

Suddenly interrupted, her phone vibrated on her lap.

She just stared and stared and stared. Then she quickly flicked her cigarette away and pushed herself off the wall - dusting off quickly. She grabbed her phone and answered, clearing her throat.

“Hullo? Who’s this?” she mumbled like an idiot - she knew it was Max, her screen gave her the caller ID quite clearly.

_“Chloe?”_

“...Max. Uh, hey.”

_“I’m not interrupting, am I? I… I can call back later-”_

“No, it’s cool! I’m on my break right now anyway,” Chloe quickly cut in, not wanting to waste time. She only had a few minutes left.

_“Oh. Oh, that’s… good. Uhm, hey, listen - about the wedding and-”_

“Max, I… s-shit, I dunno how to say this but… I kinda won’t be able to attend?” Chloe blurted out.

_“...oh.”_

“...sorry, I just c-can’t? We’re having a rough time over here,” Chloe lied - closing her eyes and tilting her head up at the murky sky. “We’ve got a couple new kids from… real bad backgrounds and I’m needed around because some of them lost their parents, so… y’know. I have experience.”

 _“...that’s fine, Chloe. What you do is so,_ so  _important… I couldn’t drag you away from that. Seriously.”_

Chloe smiled to herself. There was a genuine tone to Max’s voice - yet she felt like an asshole for lying. “Yeah. Thanks.”

_“Ugh, well this is… I’m sorry for not calling earlier, I’ve been busy myself with everything.”_

“No, hey - it’s fine, I should’ve called earlier and told you. Kinda busy too, yeah.”

_“Mhm.”_

“Hey, so… how are you and, uh... Warren? Everything good, happy?” Chloe asked and _immediately_  hit herself in the leg for asking. She groaned silently and shoved her knuckles into her mouth - trying not to make a sound.

She hit herself a bit  _too_ hard.

_“...we’re fine. Yeah. We're... o-okay.”_

“That sounds… good?” Chloe murmured, raising an eyebrow.

It didn't sound so good.

_“Yeah. We’re fine, just excited… y’know? It’s a bit stressful too, honestly.”_

“Oh, yeah. I guess that sorting everything would be stressful, but… it’ll be worth it, right? Has to be.”

_“...y-yeah. Totally.”_

Chloe hummed and looked around. She glanced down at her wrist and checked her watch, letting out a sigh. “Ugh, shit-”

_“Work?”_

“...yeah,” Chloe replied and rubbed at her eyes for a few seconds - trying to think, trying to gather up courage. “Look Max, I… since I won’t be able to attend I kinda… wanna wish you real well.”

_“Oh. Oh, thanks.”_

“Like seriously. You are like… the greatest person I’ve ever known and I want you to be happy, I wanna wish you well - like… success in life, happiness and shit, y’know?”

How eloquent.

_“...thanks, Chloe. It… means a lot.”_

“Seriously - don’t stress girl. You have everything under control and I know you’re going to do great in anything you do. You’re Maxine Caulfield and… you’re just awesome. Amazing. Amazeballs. You're the greatest.”

_“...amazeballs, Chloe?”_

“Hey, I can be a dork too sometimes.”

Chloe grinned as she heard Max laugh quietly on the other side.

_“Chloe, I…”_

There was that moment, that brief moment, where Chloe’s heart leapt and her hopes rocketed up and _that moment right there_ \- as Max hesitated and held her breath - was something Chloe waited for.

_“...I just… I wanna say that I… want to t-thank you for everything. Seriously.”_

Then, as fast as the moment came, it went.

Chloe’s heart faltered and her smile dropped, her head too - her shoulders sagged and her usual, energetic heel rocking came to a halt. She closed her eyes and nodded.

“...it’s cool Max. It’s cool.”

She wasn't sure what she was expecting. Max professing her love over a phone? Ugh.

_“I’m not g-gonna hold you up any longer, sorry.”_

“It’s fine, I can be late a few seconds,” Chloe replied and kept staring at the ground. “I just wanna wish you well again, Max. Kick... life in the ass and all that.”

_“Thanks.”_

“Right. I gotta go now, I have a busy week ahead - probably no chance to talk, but… I’ll talk to you sometime, definitely. Dunno when.”

_“...I’d like that. I'd really like that.”_

* * *

As soon as Chloe hung up, Max died a little bit inside.

Gripping her phone, she brought it up to her lips and held it there as she stared ahead at nothing. There were tears, she could feel those, and it didn’t take long for them to roll down her cheeks. She gently tapped the edge of her phone against her mouth, forcing her eyes closed.

She sniffled and quickly wiped away her tears, trying to stay composed.

Max fucked up. She had her chance, she wanted to tell Chloe about her doubts, about what she felt, about how she didn’t want this. It was the entire reason she called. But she didn't. Her courage wasn't there. Chloe's courage, they way she was able to bring Max out of her shell - it just wasn't there. The words had been stuck in the back of her throat, and instead of saying them - instead of saying she loved Chloe and didn't want to marry Warren - she forced out some bullshit sentence about how she wanted to thank her instead.

It was too late.

_Max fucked up._

This was all a mistake, but she couldn’t back out, not now. They spent far too much money and far too much time and told far too many people about the wedding.

What was worse was having to head back home and talk to Warren and pretend that everything was fine and their relationship totally wasn’t falling apart and Max totally didn’t cheat on him with somebody she actually, genuinely, cared for and loved-

It was a mess.

But maybe marriage would fix things.

Max had to keep telling herself that, no matter how much of a lie she knew it was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dragging things on needlessly and nonsensically, ch6  
> next tomorrow, 2 more left :)


	7. so here it is, another chance

It was the day of the wedding.

Time passed in a breeze - Max didn’t even realise what day it actually was until Warren reminded her, told her they had a busy schedule; said she needed to get ready so they could get to the venue and prepare everything. She kinda just nodded at that and stayed in bed anyway.

She watched the ceiling, watched the early morning light bleeding through the blinds and casting shadows above. She was breathing quietly, calmly, as she just stared up and… thought about things.

Max had a chance - she had a chance at getting Chloe back, at correcting the one mistake she thought she made in her life. She had that chance and she fucked it up because she was too afraid, too paralysed to act - had no courage.

Chloe left, said she couldn’t attend her wedding. They hadn’t even shared a single text since their phone call a few days ago.

It hurt a lot, but Max was just numb to feeling now. It was better that way.

“Max, are you going to get up?” Warren said as he walked back into the room, toothbrush in hand. “Hurry up, we have to be there in less than an hour.”

“Yeah. Yeah, just… give me a second,” she replied and heard as he sighed and went back into the bathroom.

Max was afraid that Warren suspected something, but if he did then so far he kept quiet about it. There was only a brief mention of Chloe during their conversation a few days prior - Max didn’t say anything, Warren didn’t press her. They agreed to just shove all their problems aside, go ahead with all of this.

It would get better, right? Max had to believe that.

Reaching for her eyes, she held her fingers over them and sniffled. She swore under her breath, called herself stupid, useless-

“Max, you okay?” Warren called out - hearing Max. “What’s going on?” he asked, peeking his head out of the bathroom.

Max shook her head and wiped away the tears. “D-don’t worry. I’m just happy,” she lied and faked a smile. “Just happy.”

Warren hung his head there for a while and then gave her a dopey smile. “I am too, Max. I am too.”

Max wasn’t happy.

* * *

 

“Max.”

Max snapped out of her trance. She blinked a few times and looked in the mirror, seeing Kate beside her and with a smile. She gestured to Max’s dress, the one she was wearing - it wasn’t long, but it wasn’t short; it was just perfect for her.

It was nice. Pretty. Max would’ve perhaps liked it more if she had wanted to wear it right now, but she didn’t, but she wore it anyway because she had to; she was getting married.

“Max, are you okay?” Kate asked softly, looking over her friend. She reached up to touch her arm. “Anxious?”

Max kept quiet and looked herself over in the mirror again. “Yeah. Yeah, something like that.”

Kate hummed and moved her hands back. “I think you look really pretty. Warren will like it.”

“Yeah. I’m sure he will.”

Watching as Kate walked away to do something, Max turned slightly - looking herself over yet again. Her heart was pounding; her moment was approaching. In just a few minutes she’d be speaking vows and committing herself to a lifelong relationship.

This was a mistake, but she felt pressured - so many people looked ahead to this.

“Max, somethings wrong,” Kate simply announced as she came back to Max - seeing her staring blankly at the mirror again. “Tell me.”

Max groaned and closed her eyes - rubbing her temples. “It’s fine Kate, really.”

Kate crossed her arms and just looked at her, she even frowned a little bit; Kate almost never frowned, not at Max. There was no winning against that.

“Ugh…” Max mumbled and stepped away, walking towards a nearby seat. She dropped down and wrapped her arms around herself, looking to the floor. “It’s really nothing Kate…”

“But it’s something,” Kate replied and sat down beside Max, taking her hands into her own. She gave them a squeeze and leaned down, peering up at Max as she in turn looked to the floor. “Tell me.”

“It’s… complicated,” Max whispered and finally looked at Kate. “I don’t want to ruin any of this, I should just shut up.”

Kate sighed, closed her eyes momentarily and then stared at Max again. “Max, if it’s something you need to get off your chest, it’s best you do it now.”

Max crumpled back in her seat, feeling defeated. “I’m not… sure about this.”

“About what…?”

“Everything?” Max whispered and glanced at Kate. “Is this right? Marrying Warren?”

Kate raised both her eyebrows and gaped her mouth for just a moment, quickly pursing her lips before humming. “I see,” she murmured and leaned back, looking around the room. “That’s not a question I can answer, Max.”

“I know, I know…”

“How about you follow your heart?” Kate suggested.

“Kate that’s just cheesy,” Max mumbled and dropped her face into her hands - shaking her head. “It doesn’t help me.”

“Have you tried it?” Kate asked with a knowing smile.

Max dropped her hands beside herself and looked at Kate.

* * *

 

There was an issue.

Everything had to be moved inside the venue - it had begun to rain, the skies turned dark and thunder rumbled overhead. They had hoped it wouldn’t happen, but they accounted for it; after all the weather was unpredictable sometimes.

It took maybe another hour to prepare everything, but sure enough - it was ready.

Max was taken out of her room by her father, Ryan, and led off to a quiet corner so they could talk. Kate meanwhile left and made her way to another part of the building, to where everything would be happening.

This was it. Only a few minutes left.

“Max, hun,” Ryan spoke softly and looked her over - holding her hands. “You okay, kiddo?” he asked, tilting his head. He was good at reading his daughter sometimes, but even today he couldn’t.

“...yeah, I’m fine dad,” Max replied and managed a small smile. “I was just… thinking things over, talking to Kate.”

“And?” he murmured, giving her a knowing look. “Nervous, right? Doubting things?”

Max was quiet. “Yeah. Something like that,” she replied after a few seconds, looking at him again.

“Okay. You ready to go out there?” he quizzed, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I believe in you.”

“I…” Max trailed off and looked away, towards the double doors - to where everything was setup and everyone was already inside, just waiting on her; the bride. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. I’m ready.”

Max was lying to herself.

* * *

 

It was quiet.

As the doors opened and Max stepped inside - Ryan beside her, holding her hand on his forearm - everyone suddenly looked towards them. There were smiles and quiet whispers exchanged - compliments and such. Some people were giving her the thumbs up, others were simply beaming; looking forward to it all.

Max took a step and stopped.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, Ryan standing beside her. He allowed her to relax and take a moment.

“You okay?” he whispered, noticing she hadn’t moved for a few seconds.

“...yeah. Yeah, s-sorry, just… preparing. Okay,” she replied and looked at him, smiling again before stepping forward.

Max could see some of her friends in the aisles that had been setup - Victoria and Rachel being the prominent ones near the front. They were whispering frantically, keeping their voices down; between them was one of their phones. Rachel gave Max a brief glance and quickly hushed Victoria down, pushing her phone away.

That was… weird.

Max shook it off and continued - looking ahead.

Warren was looking back at her, a smile on his face as he waited near the minister.

Max looked down to the floor. Her heart was heavy as it beat wildly against her chest.

This was actually it. No going back now, right?

“Good luck,” Ryan whispered into her ear and squeezed her hand. “I’ll always support whatever choice you make,” he added before gently patting her back and stepping away.

Max tilted her head at that, wondering what he meant, but then stepped forward and took her position just opposite Warren. She looked down at the floor rather than him - staring at the ground. She could hear him clear his throat slightly as the minister stepped forward.

“You, uh… look beautiful,” he said.

“Thanks,” Max mumbled and looked off to the side, towards the aisles and the people watching them. “You look nice,” she mumbled - not even sounding genuine about it, not even looking at him; she was more distracted by him than anything.

Stepping forward, the minister smiled over at everyone, looked between Max and Warren, and then started speaking.

Max sort of… drowned him out. She could feel the rush of her blood in her ears, could hear every beat of her heart. She felt uncomfortable, felt a huge pressure on herself. She closed her eyes and then breathed in, then out, in, out.

She could do this.

A few moments later Max hear the minister clear his throat. She looked up, saw him giving them a look and gesturing to one another. “The vows,” he repeated quietly; smiling afterwards.

Warren began.

Max drowned him out too. She kept her hands in front of herself, crossed over as her eyes kept darting over to the double door that led into the venue. She kept staring, staring - her gaze never once relenting. She waited, hoped for something but she didn't know what. Nothing was going to happen.

True enough, nothing happened. Warren finished his vows.

Max looked up, mouth slightly agape as she saw Warren staring at her - waiting. She glanced at the minister, saw him doing much the same. She looked around her; seeing as everyone was just looking at her, waiting - expecting her to speak, to swear herself to Warren, to speak her vows.

This was… too much.

Max couldn’t do this.

This wasn’t okay.

She wasn’t okay.

She didn’t want this, she wasn’t happy with this.

It all came crashing down on her; all her doubts and worries, all the guilt and emotions - her denial. Everything she’d been repressing for weeks, ever since Chloe came into her life and made it so much more brighter for the few days they were together.

“W-Warren, I…” she began, looking at him - choking up quietly. She shook her head slowly, stepping back just a bit. “Warren, I c-can’t. I can’t, I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I just…” she trailed off, looking towards the seated crowd.

They were whispering, looking on in surprise. They couldn’t make out what the bride and groom were saying, but judging by what Max was doing… something was wrong. Their whispers continued, got louder.

“Warren, I can’t,” Max said firmly - loudly - and managed to get a few gasps out of the crowd. She looked at him and shook her head again. “I can’t. I can’t do this, I’m sorry, I just…”

Max turned away, towards the double doors. She felt horrible, conflicted; so goddamn  _uncomfortable._ She was quick to start walking back down the aisle - her sudden departure causing people to look on in shock, to whisper even louder; talk amongst themselves. What was going on? Why was the bride running, why couldn't she do this?

Ryan looked at Max, then Warren, then Max. He took off after his daughter as Warren just looked on; confused and shocked himself.

He didn’t expect this.

* * *

 

Max stormed out of the building only seconds later, ignoring the fact there was thunder overhead and it was pouring rain. Everything looked like goddamn hell, there were puddles everywhere and Max was probably ruining her dress in it all.

She didn’t care, she needed fresh air, she needed space. She felt dizzy, almost sick.

After everything she’d been telling herself for days, all the lies to feel better, to justify it all - she couldn’t actually do it. She couldn’t actually go out there, say her vows and get married. She didn’t want that, so she didn’t do it.

Max didn’t even know how she managed it.

Then she looked up only seconds later and there -  _right there in the pouring rain_ \- was Chloe. She stood silently beside one of the cars - looking on.

Chloe, who was supposed to be in Portland and helping kids. Chloe, who told Max she couldn’t come because of work, who lied to her. Chloe, who was fucking  _soaked_ to the bone; all her clothes stuck to her skin, her hair covered her face and her beanie sort of drooped back on her head. She looked miserable.

Max stopped in her tracks after a few more steps.

Chloe just stared at her.

Max stared right back, ignoring the rain, ignoring the thunder, ignoring the sound of the crowd from inside the venue. She could hear her father calling out after her, no doubt wanting to know just  _what the hell was going on._

“You…” Max began as she started to walk towards Chloe - pointing a finger at her. She felt anger well up in her chest, felt herself snapping. “You  _f-fucking asshole!”_ she screamed, jabbing her finger into Chloe’s sternum only moments later; doing it so harshly that she pushed her back against the car.

Chloe gulped and let it happen.

 _“Now_ you show up?” she continued, sticking her finger against her again.  _“Now?”_

“Max-”

“No, don’t you fucking…  _M-Max_ me!” she snapped and stepped back, glaring at her. “Do you realise just…  _what_ you put me through?” she shouted, her voice breaking just for a moment.

Chloe hung her head in shame.

“I had to fucking… justify all this  _bullshit!”_ she screamed, gesturing over behind her at the building, towards the crowd as they filed out. “I had to justify all this shit to myself, had to tell myself this would make me…  _f-fucking happy!_ Well it  _doesn’t!_ None of this makes me  _happy!”_

There was another wave of gasps and whispers from the crowd. Everyone was looking on, confused and shocked still. Warren was nowhere to be seen, but Victoria and Rachel stood near the front - talking amongst themselves as they looked on. They predicted something like this would happen.

Ryan was nearby Max, standing there - unsure what to do as he watched the confrontation.

 _“You_ make me f-fucking happy!” Max hissed, dropping her hand as she stepped back again. “I’ve been wanting to tell you since that fucking night, but you just… f-fucking  _pushed_ me away! Tried to shove all these  _bullshit, fake feelings_ and thoughts into my head!”

“...Max-”

“No, don’t… you  _shut up_ and  _keep listening_ to me, I’m  _not_ done!” Max interrupted, stepping back forward again.

Chloe sagged down a bit, wilting. Max sounded angry, but she had plenty of reasons to be - so that was no surprise. She looked at the ground and saw puddles forming as it just kept pouring; occasionally accompanied by a rumble or a flash of lightning overhead.

“I h-had to torture myself and keep thinking that maybe, just  _maybe,_ I’d be happy eventually with…  _a-any of this!”_ she yelled, ignoring everything but Chloe. She didn’t care what people thought of her, not anymore. “But I’m not! Chloe, I w-wanted to fucking tell you so many times, I wanted to call you, text you but I j-just… couldn’t…”

As she trailed off, Chloe looked on. She gulped and took a step forward, pushing herself off the car.

“I f-fucking love  _you,_ idiot! Not Warren -  _you!”_ Max finally cried out.

Silence.

There was another rumble over head, more lightning. The rain didn't relent and if anything it got worse.

Chloe stood there, barely able to keep her eyes open as the rain pelted her. She sighed and dropped her head. She felt guilty, but she wasn’t the only one to blame - was she?

Maybe she was. She pushed Max away so many times. But she didn't feel like she was.

Ugh. It was all just a huge fucking mess and Chloe didn’t even know where to start.

Max was quiet, hearing as the crowd behind them talked even louder. She could hear Ryan step forward and promptly place his hand on her shoulder. “No, s-stop - let go!” she snapped, shrugging off his hand.

Chloe looked back up at her.

“Well?” Max asked and stepped forward. “Happy now? Does this f-fucking,” she growled and started to hit Chloe on the chest in anger, “does it fucking finally answer your  _bullshit-”_

“Max, s-stop-”

Max hit her again, pushing her back as she immediately followed. “-are you finally going to tell me the truth, or are you g-going to goddamn-”

“-stop-”

As Max just continued to hit her, Chloe took it for a few more seconds before finally grabbing her hands. She pulled her in and wrapped herself tight around her, refusing to let go as Max struggled and swore and tried pushing her away.

“Max, it’s okay-”

“-n-nothing is _f-fucking okay-”_

“-calm down, don’t… just  _stop-”_

“-don’t you… _goddamn…_ t-tell  _me_ to  _s-stop-”_

Max just broke apart and started crying.

Chloe just held her close, refusing to give an inch as Max’s struggles eventually just stopped. She closed her eyes and listened to her cry and babble on about god-knows-what; she couldn’t understand her.

By now the crowd was thinning, heading back inside - it was still pouring and a good part of the guests had no plans to get soaked. There were still people talking, discussing what would happen now.

Ryan stepped forward and glanced at Chloe, then down at Max.

They needed to have a long conversation - everyone involved.

* * *

 

It took a few hours.

Max didn’t talk.

Ryan took care of mostly everything for her - talking to Warren, his family, announcing things to the guests. He talked to Chloe too, asked her what the hell all of this was about in the first place. Chloe told him and received a few dangerous looks, but understood.

It was bad.

Eventually he left to take care of a few more things - such as ensuring that everyone  _actually knew_ the wedding was cancelled and that,  _yes,_ Max and Warren were in fact  _not_ marrying and probably wouldn’t  _ever,_ not again.

Chloe sat quietly opposite Max - watching her. She looked terrible; her dress wet and dirty, her make up ruined and her hair dishevelled and flowing down chaotically. She was covered with a blanket, but she hadn’t moved or spoken once since she was brought in after her meltdown outside.

It was hard seeing her like this.

But after a few more minutes, Chloe finally got up and walked over - dropping to her knees. She took Max’s hands into her own and then glanced up at her; seeing her look back for once. Chloe closed her eyes for just a brief moment before opening them again and smiling.

“Max. I love you, okay?” she began in a whisper, squeezing her hands. “I fucking _love_ you with every fibre of my being.”

Max just looked at her.

“I’m literally the biggest asshole for doing what I did,” she continued and dropped her head down. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I just… freaked after what we did. Thought I screwed things over when you didn’t answer me right away, when you said you weren’t sure.”

There was another moment of silence as Chloe just breathed in shakily and Max watched; staring directly down at her.

“I wanted to tell you, but… I’m just a fucking coward,” she added and brought Max’s hands up to her lips, kissing her knuckles. “So I waited. I thought you’d call me and tell me, confess. When you called me a few days ago and we talked, I thought you’d say something then. You didn’t, so… I just gave up. I’m pathetic.”

Max closed her eyes and dropped her head down, putting their foreheads together. “...you’re not,” she finally whispered - though her voice was hoarse and quiet, her throat sore. “You c-came back. It's my f-fault, I fucked up everything a-and..." she trailed off. 

Chloe closed her own eyes and stayed like that for a while - silent.

It was nice.

“I’m sorry,” Chloe repeated and looked back up at her. “I love you, okay? You make me happy Max, I just… f-fuck, I just made such a huge mess out of everything and-”

“Chloe,” Max croaked out and squeezed her hands - getting her attention. " _I_ made a mess. N-now just... shut up and kiss me.”

Chloe stopped and stared at her, blinking. She flapped her mouth uselessly, unsure how to reply to that. It seemed so sudden, there were still things they needed to talk about, were there not?

“Kiss me,” Max repeated. “I d-don’t care about a-anything right now, we’ll… deal with w-what we did later, we'll talk, w-whatever - okay? But if you love me, kiss me.”

There was another moment of hesitation.

Max just rolled her eyes and took a hold of Chloe’s collar, pulling her up into a brief kiss. She did again, once, twice - maybe a few more times - just pecking at her.

Chloe eventually began to kiss her back properly though - pushing forward as Max’s hands worked her beanie off and her fingers began to work through her hair, desperately pulling her closer.

They made out for a while.

Truth was, Max pushed things too far at one point - blamed her problems on Chloe, tried to make herself feel better about everything; fell into denial.  She snapped, said things in the heat of the moment. She regretted it and acknowledged that this was her fault. She was the one who couldn't tell Chloe the truth, was afraid.

She wasn’t in denial anymore though,  wasn’t getting married. She didn’t need anything to be fixed, not anymore and not right now, not with Chloe right there and kissing her - professing her love just like she wanted her to.

It felt good. She felt happy. Chloe was happy too.

Yeah, it was a mess - a big one - yet they’d work through it. They had to. It would take time, effort - probably would lead to a few more problems down the line.

But now?

Now they just wanted to enjoy each other for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really unexpected and super dramatic am i right or am i right  
> it's a mess tbh  
> :)  
> last chapter tomorrow, just a short epilogue


	8. have i ever told you how good it feels to hold you?

Fluttering her eyes open, Max finally woke up.

Again there were two arms around her as usual - holding her close, giving her periodic squeezes. She sighed happily and relaxed, letting herself lean back as she felt somebody nose up in her nest of hair - again, like usual.

“Morning beautiful,” Chloe whispered and kissed the top of her head.

Max hummed in approval at the affections, the words, before tilting her head sideways to look up at Chloe. “Hi.”

Chloe stared down at her for a few seconds, seeing Max’s expecting look on her face. She rolled her eyes and leaned down to give her a kiss. She smiled after a few seconds as she pulled back, only to gasp quietly when Max pulled her back down.

It was there morning routine now for so long, a year now, perhaps more.

Like Max had predicted, dealing with everything was… an issue near the beginning. There were things that still needed to be said between her and Warren, her and Chloe; there were all sorts of paperwork too for whatever reason, there was the issue of the apartment, their shared things and so much more.

Ryan helped Max with a lot of things, Chloe did too - though her help was limited as she still had work in Portland. For the first few months after… everything, Max had chosen to live with her parents. She needed a bit of time, but sure enough it didn’t take long for her to decide to move cities - leave Seattle and head for Portland; moving in with Chloe.

They made a life together. Max was able to continue her independent photography work whilst Chloe continued her social work. Their arguments were few and far between - almost nonexistent - and it felt so much more… fulfilling, happy. Each day Max spent with Chloe was a day well spent.

“Hey,” Chloe murmured and gave Max a gentle shake. “Whacha thinkin’ about nerd?”

Max rolled her eyes and elbowed Chloe softly.

“Ow, dude - what the hell!” she hissed in reply, bending sharply to the side before tightening her hold on Max. She sighed and shuffled back into her place, pulling Max closer. “Well? Talk to me.”

“...things.”

“Things being?” Chloe pressed on.

“All of this,” Max murmured and shrugged. “Me. You. What happened.”

“Oh,” Chloe mumbled and closed her eyes.

“I’m happy. Are you happy?” she inquired, glancing off and up to her side again - towards Chloe.

“Do you honestly need me to answer that?”

Max furrowed her eyebrows, looking away before she nodded. “I guess not.”

Chloe smiled and squeezed her girlfriend real tight, rocking them side to side for a few seconds. “Of course I’m happy. I get to wake up next to you every morning.”

“...I’m still sorry for everything I said,” Max finally said after a few minutes of silence, the two just lying there lazily. “I made everything a bigger mess than it needed to be and-”

“Max,” Chloe interrupted and gave her a shake. “Let it go. It’s in the past, it happened a year ago. We talked, remember? You don’t need to keep bringing this up. It’s fine.”

Max closed her eyes and hummed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Yeah, okay - you weren’t the bravest, you didn’t tell me what you felt even though you had so many opportunities to do so and that…  _was_ a problem. You  _did_ make a mess of everything, waited for too long - fine, whatever. But y’know what? I don’t care. Not anymore. You’re here  _now,_  we’re together  _now_ \- that’s what matters to me,” Chloe spoke and kissed the top of her head. “We’ve dealt with everything.”

They went silent again, lazing about in bed - watching as the rays of light danced about on the ceiling of their room. It was strangely calming - serene - and they didn’t move, didn’t speak at all as they both watched and lost themselves in their thoughts.

“It was just a heat of the moment thing,” Chloe continued after a few minutes. “You told me about everything. I don’t blame you for snapping at me, I lied too and that probably didn’t help.”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about this?” Max suddenly teased, tilting her head up at Chloe.

Sticking her tongue out, Chloe yelped when Max caught it in her fingers. “Le’ go!” she growled, pulling back. “Maaaaaaacks-”

“You gonna keep quiet?” Max asked, smirking.

Chloe grumbled and nodded her head, trying to pull back again. “Le’ goooooo!”

Max let go and giggled.

“Ass,” Chloe snapped and narrowed her eyes, squeezing her arms around Max.

“But you like this ass.”

Staring at her for a few seconds, Chloe suddenly gave her a toothy grin and nodded. “Yeah, you right - I  _do_ like this ass. It’s a bit bony and a bit pale, but hey - it’s great otherwise.”

Max just kinda groaned at that and then fell silent, stroking her fingers over Chloe’s hands as they were wrapped around her. She hummed to herself in thought, just lazing about still - neither of them  _really_ wanted to get out of bed, and it was the weekend too...

“I… still feel a bit bad for Warren,” Max confessed in a whisper.

Rolling her eyes so hard that even Max could probably hear it, Chloe pulled her girlfriend closer and sat up - leaning against the headboard of their bed. “Dude, it’s fine. Waldo moved on too y’know-”

“Warren, Chloe-”

“-Warren, whatever - but he moved on, you know that. He has a boyfriend now,” Chloe mumbled and looked down at Max. “Didn’t figure the dude as somebody to get a boyfriend, but whatever floats his boat - I don’t care.”

Max nodded quietly. “Him and Nathan  _do_ make a cute couple-”

“Ugh, dude -  _please._ Just the thought of Nathan makes my skin crawl.”

“He’s not an asshole anymore Chloe-”

“Max,” Chloe interrupted and shook her, getting her attention. “Let’s just stop there. Whatever. Warren moved on, has a boyfriend. End of. I shouldn’t have continued the topic.”

They went quiet again.

“We dealt with everything. You and him split shit equally, you parted on… amicable terms-”

“Chloe, I thought you didn’t want to talk about this?” Max teased yet again - looking back up at her.

Chloe didn’t stick her tongue out at Max this time, she was smarter than that. “Alright. Yeah. I guess. Alright, let’s just drop all this shit and laze about - I don’t wanna get up today.”

“But we have shopping to do,” Max reminded her.

“Ugh, you  _had_ to remind me,” Chloe groaned loudly and pushed her arms out above them, gesturing in vain. “Agh! Adult responsibilities, why must you haunt me so!”

“How did you survive without me for so long?” Max asked and finally flipped herself over, straddling Chloe. She leaned back and pulled the covers over her shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that Chloe was quite clearly staring at her naked body.

“I… honestly don’t know?” Chloe replied, looking back up at Max’s face for just a brief moment before her eyes strayed right back down to her body. “Hey, y’know what? I think shopping can wait-”

“Chloe,  _no-”_

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up Max, shopping  _can_ wait but what I’m about to do to you  _can’t-”_

_“Chloe-”_

They tumbled about, kissed and whispered sweet things to one another. Sure enough, Chloe pushed even further, and soon they were both enthralled with one another, limbs tangled and their breaths heavy - panting.

What they had was something they both cherished.

Yeah, the road to here was filled with difficulty.

Chloe had trouble trusting Max sometimes, but Max made promises everyday that she fulfilled, ones she would continue doing everyday - for as long as Chloe would need it and even beyond that. That certainly helped.

Max sometimes had small bouts of guilt and regret, but they were soon washed away by Chloe. She didn’t allow Max to ever get sad about things because there was no point dwelling on them, not anymore.

They were here  _now,_ together and happy - in love.

Max swore that she’d never leave Chloe again.

Chloe swore that if she did then she’d chase her bony ass to the ends of the world this time.

Max firmly believed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> i had fun writing this even though it was a bit stretched and all over the place and quite cliche and i wasn't even sure what I was writing half of the time but hey, whatever  
> thanks for reading!


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